When we think about reaching relationship milestones, we usually get a vision of the picturesque moments such as the first kiss, the first time we say, “I love you,” and deciding to move in together.
However, let’s take a minute to give credit to the more realistic breakthroughs in a relationship that, while they might not be as pleasant or idyllic, still manage to make getting to know our significant others more interesting. These are the ones that create deeper levels of closeness, where we can learn of partners as real people instead of the fantasy figures that we create in our minds when we first meet someone we like.
1. The first time you see them without makeup.
Maybe she’s born with it, but likely not.
As women, we build a certain daily makeup routine, and it can be a little uncomfortable to let our partner see us without any on for the first time. We hope they don’t look at us wondering where that other girl went that they’ve been dating for the past two months. However, at some point we just gotta say, “Welp, this is me. Take it or leave it.”
If they care for you as they should, this won’t be a problem. Besides, it’s a real ego boost to know that they find your naked, natural face beautiful as well.
2. The first big argument.
It’s not pleasant to have your first fight, but think about it this way: it can provide an opportunity to fine tune your communication style with that person and test how well the two of you deal with disagreement.
Then, once you work through the argument, you relationship will come out stronger in the end – partners through thick and thin.
3. Discovering each other’s weird quirks and habits.
Most everyone has some type of weird behavior that you won’t find out about until you really get to know them. Maybe they have a habit of leaving their dirty clothes on the floor. Maybe they like to jam out to ‘90s music while they cook or clean.
Some quirks may be a little annoying, but some may be adorable, and it’s a nice feeling when you know that you are one of very few people who knows these things about them.
4. The first time you see each other ugly cry.
No one likes to have to unleash that ugly cry face. It might be tough letting them see you in such a vulnerable and unflattering state, but if they really care about you, they aren’t going to judge you for it. What is important is that they are there for you in your time of need.
5. The first period talk.
Some people are grossed out or embarrassed by it (seriously, why?) and some people don’t mind.
While it’s a little awkward having that first talk about your menstruation cycle, it’s going to come up eventually, so you might as well get it out of the way. Part of being a grown-ass couple is having to deal with this little fact of nature.
6. Talking or hearing about “the past.”
Hearing about an ex may make you a little uneasy, but if there was anyone significant in one’s life, it’s likely to come up in conversation. Plus this is a good time to get a little bit of insight into what their previous relationships were like and why they ended.
7. The first time you goes without shaving.
In the beginning stages of a relationship, you think there’s no way you’d skip a day without shaving and have your partner see the slightest bit of stubble. Then once the relationship settles down a little, you realize that’s is not such a big deal.
Like wearing makeup, there are some days that we just like to skip it completely. In all honesty, most people aren’t going to care if you are a little bit prickly sometimes.
8. When you get to know their bodily functions.
At first it can be scary to think of them actually hearing you fart or take a deuce. However, true intimacy means understanding that we are all humans with bodily functions that don’t smell like roses – and we still love you anyway.
9. You experience each other’s morning breath.
The first time you sleep over at your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house can be nice, but their bed breath is probably not so nice.
Just try to be considerate and avoid breathing in their face before you have it under control. If they still kiss you even though you have morning breath, now that’s true intimacy.
10. The first time you get sick around each other.
Even though it feels awful and unsexy being sick, it’s always nice to know your partner cares enough to be there to take care of you.
11. The first time you have to be brutally honest about something.
Whether it’s bad breath or an unflattering outfit or haircut, it will be a test to see how well one communicates and how well the other takes in constructive criticism. Sometimes it’s just necessary to tell them what they need to hear instead of what they want to hear.
If your relationship can survive all of these less-than-sexy, unromantic milestones, that’s when you know it’s real love.