Anonymous

Hairdressers are just where the compliments begin! “I would die for your hair color” is only something we hear about…Oh, I don’t know, 7 times per month?

Don’t lie. We’ve all thought of being a stripper once or twice.

You got hit in the neck with a magenta paintball and now your skin is stained for a couple of days.

I’ve seen 25-year-olds with forehead wrinkles and crow’s feet, and 30-year-olds who are considering several rounds of Botox because they’ve already ruined their skin’s elasticity.

Don’t ask their permission to say it. Don’t ask for a reciprocal confession. Just tell them how you feel.

Being overly grossed out by periods, denouncing chick flicks, claiming that females cannot be funny, and refusing to do “womanly” activities are a few side effects of this symptom.

He is a old man, occupying a powerful place in academia, who has a penchant for young, inexperienced women.

Shout out to my people in single-sex boarding schools.

It was years ago, and I still struggle to describe it; I suppose that’s how you know it was true love.

How does anybody, even a person so criminally deranged, come to the conclusion that it’s a good idea to walk around looking like Santa Claus in a Hillary Clinton wig?

Just don’t let anyone living with you catch you, psycho.

It’s time for me to understand what its like to open up to someone without the fear that I’ll be emotionally shamed or that it will scare them away.

After years of meticulous field research, I have finally discovered that men will literally never get women.

6. They know essentially every fact about you

I would like to start by saying I’m not a sexist.

Cost of living varies from state to state; never under-estimate this fact.

Or all those times when I walked through Jamaica, Queens, Wyandanch, Long Island, and Far Rockaway, Queens and was kindly informed that I was “in the wrong neighborhood, White Boy.”

Adderall has gained a reputation for making you “limitless.” I’ve even heard it called legal meth, or legal cocaine.