Anonymous

“If we failed the notoriously grueling marriage interview, I would be deported and my fake husband would be imprisoned for at least two years.”

These are the many things I’ve learned while being the oldest of seven.

I’m starting to get desperate.

Thoughts from a woman who has slept with 20+ Navy SEALs.

Our Daddy is our real-life Hercules.

We had it all figured out. We had a plan. We were going to get a dog.

First and most importantly, do not shove our heads into your groin.

Guys, sorry, but one of us has to put an end all these articles assuming on why we are incapable of having a committed relationship. I have done my fair research and have stumbled across endless reasons on why us guys won’t take it to the next level with girls. Most of these write-ups have been done by the female gender, and most of them have some good points, but in this letter I will let all you ladies in on what really goes on in our brains.

The silent treatment has been around since the creation of time, and for good reason. No, you should not answer that creepy 2am “I miss you babe text.” I’m awake during the day too asshole.

You’re the adult here — you’ve been so for awhile. You’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s you who will be tucking your dad in at night, and not the other way around.

It felt like someone had pulled my heart up through my throat and smashed it right in front of me.

What you didn’t know was that he was texting me the entire time. He was telling me how much he missed me and still loved me — how he knew that he and I were meant to be.