Anonymous

I’m in the early breakup stages of a two-year relationship. You know what the worst part of it is? Knowing that it is solely my fault.

1. You shut the world out when you’re with him.

Don’t you see that you two are finished? And that he has happily moved on?

1. He uses your past against you.

Educate yourself.

Before I met him, I was part of the Tumblr feminists. I was a hardcore, misogynist-hating feminist who swallows whatever text post pops up on my dashboard. I questioned nothing.

I was married, but I was more alone than ever.

I’m not letting on about my discoveries yet. It’s been surprisingly easy since it’s so shocking, it’s almost not real anyway.

After I told my mother, she yelled at me for being so upset and shouted, largely out of frustration, “What am I supposed to do now? She was a child?” I ran out of my house crying, furious with her.

A few months later, his wife got pregnant and I think his world was crashing down before his eyes.

You’re going to read this. Right now.

5. You hate everyone and feel hated by everyone.

Marijuana, as with all other drugs, allowed me to be the ultimate escapist, and in escaping, I became lost and ill-equipped to handle the world — and life.

I’m scared.

If we say we want to stay friends we have an ulterior motive (probably sex).

I’m sorry I couldn’t love you the way you loved me.

My job was as a “Describer”…I would watch the videos all day long, take screenshots, and then try to write the most enticing copy that I could (which often all ended up sounding the same, and used far too many exclamation points).

“Can’t we be together without being together?” was my standard line. “Why does everyone need to know about our private life?”, and “Let’s just be casual” was working as excuses for each non-relationship I ever had. I was a human yo-yo.