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If You Feel Like You’re Forever The Single Friend, Read This

This is for the girl who loves so deeply, yet has never been in love.

For the girl who has been on countless first dates, coming home in tears because hope is slowly fading away.

For the girl who knows she’s beautiful, knows she’s worthy, knows she deserves so much more, yet with each failed first date, the strength in those statements starts to shake.

This is for the girl who third, fifth, and seventh wheels like a pro.

For the girl who lovingly sits there playing therapist for the ups and downs of all her friends, as they go on second date after second date, seemingly pulling boys out of thin air, convincing themselves into the roller coaster of pseudo-relationships and momentary blissful nights.

This is for the girl who knows how to be alone because she’s had plenty of practice.

For the girl who has learned to prefer a quiet night in reading to yet another failed first date.

For the girl who knows she is so worthy of great love, but is slowly starting to wonder if The One really does exist.

For the girl who is starting to wonder if she might be her own biggest problem.

This is for the girl who has spent countless nights alone in bed while her friend in the room next door is enjoying additional company for the night.

And for the girl who loves her life and loves her independence, but deep down is slowly starting to fear.

To this girl, I say: Don’t let up. Don’t stop trying. Don’t lower your standards for the momentary high that always leaves you crashing down. Don’t be shaken by the relationship patterns of those around you. Just don’t stop.

I know that in your independence, you may be fending off loneliness, and it hurts.

I know you probably feel like there is something wrong with you. Why can’t you just be okay with the momentary fling?

I know you probably feel like this is never gonna happen for you, but deep, deep down, you really don’t want to let go of the hope that it still is possible.

So don’t. Don’t let it go.

Keep your standards high and be proud of your independence. Be the best single friend there is. Stay true to your values and beliefs. Don’t go on a second date unless you truly like the person. Keep filling your life and time with things that excite you.

Because the day you truly accept yourself, embody your standards, and embrace every part of your independence and individuality—no strings attached—is the day that they will walk into your life, equally as prepared for you as you are for them.

And the most beautiful thing about this is that it is built to last. You’ve done the work, and so have they. You won’t accept anything less. You’ve set the stage, you’ve prepared, and now you get to live the performance and watch the beauty unfold around you.

To the girl who is ready to break down, don’t let up just yet.

About the author

Andie Colleen

I have an irrational fear of condiments.