11 Signs You're A Good Friend
1. You’re critical of your BFF’s choices but only to a point. Whoever said best friendship means having NO JUDGMENT PASSED is a dirty little liar. Because if you can’t count on the person who knows you the best to give you their honest opinion, you are probably going to go through this life behaving like a delusional diva. Being a good friend means giving your input while also knowing when to back off. If you push the whole “tough love” thing too hard, your friend will probably be too scared to tell you anything again. And it’s not a friendship unless someone is breaking down and telling you their deepest darkest secrets at least once a week.
2. You are genuinely happy when they get into a relationship, even though you’re still single. And by “genuinely happy” I mean that both of you realize that this is awkward and sad but you’re both going to pretend that it isn’t. True best friends know when to bite their tongues.
3. You know when to compromise. It can be something as little as, “Okay, I’ll meet you in your neighborhood tonight, even though it’s totally inconvenient for me.” Your desire to see them should trump your desire to be comfortable.
4. When they ask you if a certain outfit is unflattering, you tell them the truth! For the love of god, I can’t stress how important this is. Spare your ego. If a shirt or a dress makes you look like a Cadbury egg, you should be able to rely on your BFF to tell you. It’s ruder to let them leave the house when you know they look like shit. THAT IS NOT FRIENDSHIP.
5. If they’re dating an asshole, you can’t really say anything about it because chances are they’ll push you away and date them for even longer. Just trust that they’ll figure it out on their own. And if they don’t, then maybe THEY’RE the asshole.
6. You’re not embarrassed of them. This might seem obvious but, I don’t know, it’s kind of normal to feel slightly embarrassed by your friends. True BFF’S, however, should vouch for each other 100%. “Yup, that girl who just vomited in the planter? She’s MY best friend. Jealous?”
7. You don’t use them to feel better about yourself. Doy.
8. You’re okay with being needed. You don’t feel put out when your BFF is going through a particularly needy phase. It doesn’t scare you. It doesn’t freak you out or lead you to resent them. Why? Because you know it could (and will) easily be you.
9. You shit talk them but in a healthy way. (Yes, there is a healthy way to shit talk. No, I will not explain it!)
10. When you get upset with them, you don’t turn into a passive-agressive nightmare. I don’t understand why anyone is passive-agressive with their best friend. First of all, being passive-agressive is exhausting and gross. Second of all, you should only be passive-agressive with people you don’t feel close enough to unleash your inner-crazy on. You know your BFF too well to hold back. If you’re pissed about something, just say it. There should be no need to mask it.
11. You don’t judge them for the disgusting and fattening food they eat. This is crucial. This is perhaps # 1 in maintaining a great friendship. I need to not care that I’m deep-throating a jar of Nutella in front of you right now. I need to not feel the shame when you arrive at the same time as the pizza delivery man.
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The second-to-last time I saw Darnelle I was going to buy a large quantity of weed from one of his connects because mine was out of town and he set me up to get robbed. The last time I saw him he gave me ~200 Xanax (~1/4th the value of the money he stole from me) and apologized.
Describe for us the threesome with your OKCupid hookup.
If this doesn’t become the biggest video on the Internet, then I have no faith left in humanity.
I’m about to finish up my sophomore fall of college, and friends from home are getting married and having babies and sufficiently freaking me out.