July 14, 2016

You’re Not Really A Couple Until You Survive These 23 Awkward Moments

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Joel Sassa
Joel Sassa

1. When you bump into one of your significant other’s “old friends” and you can tell from the way those two interact that they’ve definitely slept together and you can’t help acting like a crazy jealous person about the whole thing later.

2. When you think you’re safely out of sight but your lover turns their head just in time to see you flick that boogie on the floor.

3. When you’re feeling super sexy and you debut your look expecting to be showered with compliments but your partner’s expression immediately crushes all your hopes.

4. When someone comments on the floating turd in the toilet as if it’s hilarious but the other person’s just not ready to go there yet.

5. When one of you gets diarrhea and there’s no escaping the foul scent of liquid poo infusing the air.

6. When you’re staring into each other’s eyes romantically and one person just can’t help pointing out the other’s pimple or blemish, instantaneously ruining the moment.

7. When one person gets too drunk and says something wayyyy too truthful, even for a pair of lovers.

8. When you realize that your partner was probably lying to you when they said you looked amazing the night before because the photos definitely say otherwise.

9. When they come home earlier than expected to find you singing your face off while holding a fake mic, or touching yourself and moaning like a grade-A porn star.

10. When they walk in on you blatantly checking yourself out in the mirror, making a lame duck face or popping a zit or something.

11. When one person trips and falls on the sidewalk and they’re not in the mood to be laughed at but the other can’t help cracking up.

12. When either person farts during foreplay or sex.

13. When one person tries really hard to seduce the other but their plan falls flat because the lingerie doesn’t fit quite right or their target isn’t in the mood, like at all.

14. When you try a new sexual position with so much enthusiasm but it ends up mostly hurting.

15. When someone gets caught checking out a stranger and the other person can’t help fuming with jealousy.

16. When you accidentally call each other by your lame pet names in public and someone rolls their eyes at you for being that couple.

17. When someone accidentally reveals something to a friend or family member that the other was hoping to keep locked in the vault for good.

18. When one person shares a hilarious story at a group dinner that totally embarrasses their partner so the slighted party fights back with an equally humiliating anecdote and it just gets weirder from there.

19. When they catch you standing in front of a mirror, blowing out your belly just to see how big it can get or doing a funny little dance just because.

20. When someone expends a bunch of energy preparing a meal and they can sense as their partner takes the first bite that their creation is the opposite of delicious.

21. When one person accidentally injures the other and the victim just can’t suppress their temporary hatred for the cause of their suffering, even if they realize the whole thing isn’t their partner’s fault.

22. When one person insists on hearing every detail about their partner’s ex but they can’t actually handle the truth and end up weeping and/or feeling incredibly resentful.

23. When someone gets called out for faking it because they do such a shoddy job of it. TC mark

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