December 1, 2016

Stop Waiting For Someone You’re Too Good For

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Ivan Obolensky
Ivan Obolensky

Sometimes, the same words you tell yourself every day is not enough, until you hear it from someone else.

Here is what a good friend of mine said to me that pulled me out of my hole for good: “You seem to be his easy release and clear number 2. If you were a number 1 for him, he would have been smart enough to take things seriously with a smart, independent, beautiful and funny girl like you. And if he were to come crawling back one day realizing how much of a mistake he made, don’t take him in. It would be a good and harsh lesson for him to grow up.”

My friend didn’t say anything that I didn’t already know. But the fact is, we never believe it when the words come from our own minds. We lost our own trust once we picked the wrong person to love.

So it is no wonder when we try to give ourselves advice, it never works. When we become less meaningful to someone else, at the same time, somehow, we also become less meaningful to ourselves.

It was about time I stopped seeing myself through his eyes and start seeing myself for who I really am – not who he made me believe I was.

It’s true there are couples who have broken up 10 times only to finally marry each other. And sometimes, the person who we are meant to be with, is the one who had left us in the most pain. In which case, there is a good reason we are meant to be with them because if it was meant to be, it will happen no matter what and how hard or difficult.

But don’t let it be meant to be. Don’t think that the person who hurt you the most is the one you will eventually marry. Don’t think that the one who took away your trust only to give you self-doubt is your other half. Don’t think that the person who healed you at first only to break you after, is the love of your life.

Because he is not. There is no such thing as your other “toxic half” because your other half, God forbid, shouldn’t be toxic. If you’re still calling him your “toxic half,” stop. He was never your other half. Your other half is not a deathly venom that needs to be removed. Your other half shouldn’t be destroying you, it should be completing you.

If everything you did was not good enough for him, then he is the one who is not good enough for you.

Forget about who he has replaced you with. Stop worrying about who he’s going to be sleeping with next.

Never spend one second caring about someone who spent no time forgetting about you.

Don’t waste your precious moments of life thinking about a person who hasn’t taken any time out of their day, to think about you.

Don’t let a person such as this, be the one you are meant to be with. If you want to wait, then wait. But don’t wait for the one who left, wait for the one who will stay. Wait for the one who will make your heart race just like he once did. Except this one will continue to make your heart race until you grow old together instead of making it stop and run cold.

Don’t wait for him because he made you feel special once, instead, wait for the one who will never stop making you feel special.

If you take him back, you are telling yourself that you deserve to be put last.
You deserve to be taken advantage of. Worst of all, when you let him be the one, you are not only telling yourself that you deserve to be mistreated, but also, you are depriving yourself of the person who will treat you right.

And that’s what’s heart-breaking. If you have the strength to take back someone who ruined you, then why not have the strength to wait for someone who won’t?

Life is harder when you are alone, but it’s better than being with the person who makes you feel alone.

One day, the time will come when your friends ask you: “What’s new?” and you say the words you have been dying to say your whole life: “I met someone!”

But until then, be grateful and happy, that that someone will not be him. TC mark

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