Thought Catalog
March 12, 2017

Here’s How You Move On From The Heartache You’re Sure Will Never End

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bailey foster

Heartbreak is known for being one of the worst types of pain one can endure; to be broken from the inside-out, without even a scar to show for it.

The pain of heartbreak is heart wrenching. Literally. We’ve all experienced it at one point or another. We all have fallen under the destruction of a failed relationship, and sat with the regrets and unsatisfying closure.

It seems we’re all looking for a solution to fix this unfavorable problem. We try anything and everything to cover up the pain, looking for an end-all solution to heal us, a one-size fits all answer. The truth is, there is none. And somewhere along the way, we have forgotten there is no right or wrong way to move on from a past lover. We all heal and recover in different ways.

No two relationships are the same, and moving on should be different depending on our circumstances and situations.

For some, moving on involves finding someone else. Using another person to heal fill the spaces left behind. For others, it involves focusing on themselves, taking the time to understand what they want from their life and future relationships.

We all deal with pain and heartbreak in our own ways. We all move on in our own way.

The most important step of healing is to release the lingering bit of hope present in our damaged hearts. We spend too much time secretly hoping the person who rejected us will change their minds. They will magically come back to us, a grand gesture of returning love. They will realize the magnitude of their mistake, and run back to us. We wrongly hold on to this little bit of hope because it seems to be the only thing helping us get by.

We are only hurting ourselves more by clinging on to this fictional notion. We are stuck grasping something that is gone, mourning the loss of someone who willingly left.

We overly romanticize the idea of having a partner come back to us. We’ve all convinced ourself this is the most authentic type of love, a past lover returning back into our arms.

True love does not need to leave to realize what it has left behind. The people who love us will not abandon us. They will be grateful enough to realize what they have before it is gone. There is nothing romantic about rejection and betrayal, regret and redemption.

We must learn to let go of how we wanted things to occur, and begin to accept them for the way they are actually happening. We need to release all the imaginary images we have created in our heads and begin focusing on the harsh reality of our situations.

Heartbreak sucks; but it is also not the end of the world.

Take your time, and heal at your own pace. Heal at your own rate.

Be thankful for the people who did not have to disappear to realize what greatness they have in front of them. Be thankful for the ones who have loved you through it all, without a moment of hesitation in their minds. Be thankful for the ones who never left, and forget about the ones who have.

Respect yourself enough to walk away from things that are no longer meant for you. Respect yourself enough to walk away from people no longer meant for you.

Find your closure, whatever that may be, then let go. Move on. Nothing in the past is now worth your time or energy. It’s okay to leave people where they belong, instead of dragging them along a journey that is not for them.

Sometimes people leave, and sometimes it’s okay.

We need to stop searching for healing in the ones who only break us. We need to stop loving the wrong people, and start loving ourselves. We need to forget our past loves, and welcome the potential of new ones.

It’s time to put ourselves first again. Fall back in love with the people and things that raise us up. It’s time to be free again. It’s time to be happy again.

It’s time to fall in love with love again. It’s time to fall in love with ourselves again.

It’s time; you just need to believe. TC mark

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