Thought Catalog
April 15, 2017

This Is Why They’re Still Not Over You, Based On Your Birth Order

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What is the issue?
Jesse Herzog

Oldest

Because you have a way of improving anyone’s life by simply being around that is entirely unmatchable.

Oldest children are fixers. They’re the kind of people who can’t help but see where improvements could be made and just go in to make everything easier, everything smoother, everything better. As an oldest child, this inevitably trickles into your dating life. You have an innate ability to make your partner’s life just…better. When you’re not with that person anymore, they start to see everything you did for them. They start to see all the little ways in which you improved even their everyday life. You’re one of those people that has the “don’t realize what they had ’till it’s gone” affect on others. It’s hard to move on in the first place, but even harder to move on from someone who you suddenly realize drastically improved your overall existence.

Somewhere In the Middle

Because being around you is like being wrapped in the most calming, supportive blanket and that’s insanely hard to give up.

Middle children are the peace keepers, the instinctive care givers. As a middle child you have a healing, mediating quality to your personality. You exist to make people feel heard, appreciated, and understood. In relationships you support your partner like no other. So when you’re no longer around, that’s a shock to the system. Losing you is like losing your cheerleader, your biggest fan, your ultimate rock. When you’re no longer in someone’s life, they become overwhelmed with the loss of your support. And finding a replacement for that is next to impossible.

Youngest

Because your love for life is infectious, and you make everyone excited about even the most mundane things.

No relationship has the same level of effervescence and happiness as a relationship with a youngest child. As a youngest child you have a near insatiable thirst for everything new and exciting and are always filled with new adventures and experiences. Dating you is like dating an adrenaline rush that you never want to stop. When that rush and that high (so to speak) is no longer in someone’s life, it understandably leaves a gaping hole. It’s exhausting trying to move on from you because moving on from you means not having your entire existence and the rush that comes with you in one’s life. You’re the kind of person whose exes constantly think, “What if…” about.

Twin

Because you’re one of those people who loves deeply from the get go, and that’s unforgettable.

You give a no-holding-back kind of love as a twin. You love connection; you need it in your relationships. So when you’re into someone? You’re all in. You love wholly and completely and without explanation or apology. You’re pretty all or nothing, and what that results in is deep, emotional connection that’s unlike most of the relationships we get in this lifetime. It’s painful moving on from you because letting that sort of love go is gut-wrenching. It’s not only heartbreaking because they know (as the one moving on) they’re letting it go from their own life, it’s heartbreaking because they know what it means to you. And they hate that they’re causing anything like that to you.

Only Child

Because you’re there for the people you love like no other, and no one has another’s back quite like you.

When you bond with someone as an only child, it’s almost a lifetime-like kind of bond. You latch onto people you connect with, clinging to them and never wanting to let them go. And then what subsequently develops is an unwavering sense of loyalty to the people who you hold close. You’re incredibly devoted to and there for the ones you love to an unquestionable degree. To let you go is to let go of one’s fiercest defender, the person who you know is there for you no matter what, no questions asked. And honestly? We don’t get a lot of those in life. So naturally when someone finds a partner as trustworthy, strong, and true as you? They never want to let them go. TC mark

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