Thought Catalog
May 12, 2017

This Is Why She Says She’s Fine

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What is the issue?
Thought.is

The only reason she says she’s fine is because she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to say. How she’s supposed to feel.

She doesn’t lie about being fine to play games with you. She isn’t expecting you to guess what’s really on her mind. She isn’t hoping that you’ll see past her charade and figure out why she’s so upset.

If anything, she’s hoping to fool you. She genuinly wants you to believe that she’s okay. That nothing is bothering her.

She says she’s fine, because she doesn’t want to ruin your night. She would rather suffer in silence, deal with her problems on her own, than drag you into them. She doesn’t want to bother you. She doesn’t want to look like a drama queen.

She says she’s fine, because she feels like she doesn’t have the right to be upset over something so small. Because people have accused her of feeling too hard in the past. Because she doesn’t want to look overemotional, just because she’s an overthinker.

She says she’s fine, because she doesn’t want to start a fight. She doesn’t want you to end up getting mad at her for being mad at you. She doesn’t want to start a chain reaction she’s unable to stop.

But mostly, she says she’s fine, because she’s trying to convince herself that she is fine. Because she thinks that if she pretends hard enough it will become the truth. Because she doesn’t want to be sad anymore.

So the next time she promises you she’s fine, don’t get pissed at her for keeping secrets from you. Don’t accuse her of wanting attention or of being difficult.

She isn’t lying to get on your nerves. She isn’t expecting you to pull the truth out of her. She’s only trying to act strong to save you some trouble.

If you don’t want her to keep claiming she’s fine, then really listen to her speak the next time she tells you what’s wrong. Don’t act like her problems are silly. Like she should stop whining about small things and get over it. 

Because if you make her feel stupid for expressing herself, she isn’t going to do it anymore. She’s going to keep everything hidden inside. She’s going to stop being open with you.

She doesn’t want you to think of her as a complainer. As someone who is too sensitive. As someone who makes a big deal out of small problems.

She doesn’t want to annoy you with her feelings — so make it clear that you want her to be honest with you. That you want her to communicate. That you want to know all of her.

Otherwise, she’s going to keep claiming that she’s fine. She’s going to keep thinking she’s doing you a favor by locking everything inside. TC mark

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