I don’t know if I believe there’s a God out there. But, right-now, I would like to believe that there is. And for now, I would like to believe that there’s more to life than heartbreak, betrayal and loss. I would like to believe that there are far better things than the ones we no longer have. I would like to believe that good in this world always wins. I would like to believe that we’ll find what we are looking for. And that happiness is possible to have and easy to obtain.
Dear God, thank you for the bad people who came into my life. They showed me the kind of person I don’t want to be. They helped me understand how good of a person I really am. Falling in love with people who didn’t deserve my kindness, my forgiveness or my love, made me see my worth. Trusting bad people taught me to forgive myself. Sharing my most vulnerable moments with people who don’t have good intentions taught me that we are always in control even when we don’t believe it.
Dear God, thank you for the grief I experienced too young because it made me resilient. I am not destroyed by the people who leave me because the ones who meant everything to me have left already. I am not broken by unfortunate situations because I have lived moments when I thought I will never survive. I am not changed by what happens to me because I have seen hell and it only cleansed my soul.
Dear God, thank you for making me different. I am thankful that I don’t fit in, that I don’t belong here. I am thankful that wherever I go, I am the outsider. I feel like I’m in a constant battle with the world to simply be who I am. Because in a world of fake perfection, I’m honestly flawed. And in a world of money, status, looks and ego, I’m rich of my realness. It’s sadistic to have no home to go to. But, it’s a blessing in disguise because it sets you free.
Dear God, thank you for making me complicated. Overthinking drives me crazy but it protects me. It helps me predict what will happen, to see things before they come and to feel what’s wrong before I understand it. Being a deep person stole years away from me because it took time for me to heal. But, experiencing every feeling life could offer me, made my life journey magical. My nature of loving too much nearly killed me once too many times, but it allowed me to love someone other than myself, to look at someone and see them for who they are.
Dear God, thank you for all the bad things that happened to me because they gave meaning to my life. They made me see how good life is and how better it can be. The bad things made me humble that when the best things come and I have it all, I will cherish it. Because only then will I know what it is like to have nothing at all.