You will stay stuck in anger and judgment, and in feeling like a victim, as long as you make others responsible for whether or not you forgive yourself. Others’ forgiveness has nothing to do with your own decision to judge or forgive yourself.
It takes great courage to shift from invisibility to being seen and valued. It takes great courage to be willing to lose others rather than continue to lose yourself.
If you learn to trust your feelings and honor them by telling your truth, you will likely see much improvement in your relationship.
Many people believe that thinking about what they want will give them control over getting what they want. However, their intent to control is lowering their frequency and preventing the manifestation.
Rather than being a victim of the other’s behavior, you have taken emotional responsibility for yourself.
No matter how inwardly connected we are, we are not islands unto ourselves. We need others with whom to share our love and our joy. We need others to play with and learn with.
Caretakers and takers come together because both have much to learn with each other. Relationships between takers and caretakers have the necessary juice to stimulate growth in both, provided both people see this charged arena as a great gift.
When you feel happy and whole, and are filled with love inside, you will want to share your love. You will want to learn and play and create with a loved one. Sharing love is the most wonderful experience in life.
Infidelity generally comes from the same inner emptiness as does alcohol and drug abuse, food addiction, gambling, spending, shopping, and so on. In the case of infidelity, the addiction is to attention, approval or sex – using another person to fill the inner emptiness and take away the inner aloneness.
Anger and blame toward your family of origin are not only a waste of energy, they keep you stuck in being a victim rather taking responsibility for learning to love yourself.