February 11, 2014

7 Things You Learn When You’re Single

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Being single is difficult for many people. You reach a point in your life when you feel like you have no one but yourself. It can affect your emotional, physical, and mental health. But being alone does not have to be the equivalent of being lonely. As Oscar Wilde said: “I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person”. There is an abundant number of reasons why it’s okay to be alone. Here are just seven reasons why:

1. Independence

You are alone, so there is no one but you. Now that may be terrifying at first, but it is also liberating. There is no one to tell you what to do. As they say, the ball is in your court; it is your move. You are in charge and you make your own decisions. No one else will do it for you, and you don’t have to worry about collateral damage.

2. Being alone is a journey of self-discovery

Since you are in charge, you have no one to tell you who you should be. This is your opportunity to discover who you are. Not only is the journey exciting, but you are closer to becoming the person you truly are. The closer you become, the more you realize that you aren’t a collection of other people or what they think of you. You are not who everyone wants you to be. You are who you want to be. Be the best you — no excuses, explanations, or apologies necessary.

3. You can realize your true potential

There is no one to tell you what to do, but there is also no one to tell you what you cannot do. Being alone allows you to focus on yourself and discover your true potential. The ceiling that at first seemed suffocating, is now made of glass and you are breaking through it. You realize that you can achieve more than you have ever imagined. Never be sorry for wanting more for yourself, and if you really do feel like you’re at rock bottom, just remember that you can only continue going up from here.

4. You’ll build your self-confidence

Once you realize what you can achieve, you are unstoppable. You can begin to push yourself to move forward. Even if you fail, you just have to continue pushing. Nothing and no one is holding you back. This is your own life and you must chase your own happiness. If you can do it alone, then you can do it always.

5. Remember who your true friends are

You slowly start to remember those who have always been there for you: those characters from books, movies, and television shows have never let you down. When you were happy or sad, they were always there. You have experienced every possible emotion with them. They do not judge you and they will never get tired of you. They will not grow up and leave you and you can always count on them. So watch your favorite shows, escape into your favorite books, and relive your favorite movies. And though you may feel like it, you are never truly alone.

6. You’ll learn how to fall in love with yourself

You will always be there for you. You are your best listener and confidante. You are your best friend and family. The more you spend time with yourself, they more you focus on yourself and realize how you have your back. As they say, “If you don’t love yourself, no one will”. After all, the best relationship you can have is with yourself.

7. You will survive

It is not the end of the world. You will find new friends. You will fall in love again. You will create your own family. But you will hurt again and people will continue to let you down, and that’s okay. You will become a stronger, well-rounded individual. You will discover who you are and what you can do. It will help you value the little things and realize you are important. Because you are not going to be alone forever, you are simply alone right now…and that’s okay. TC mark

Catherine Mieses

College student in the process of figuring out herself and life. Believing everything happens for a reason and every …

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