Thought Catalog
April 21, 2016

4 Reasons Why You Should Actually Date The Asshole

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New relationships are always so exciting in the beginning, but if your bond fizzles after a few months, you’re likely dating a partner who isn’t deeply compatible. We’re often attracted to jerks at first because they seem confident—but later on, the relationship often turns sour. In the dating world, assholes greatly outnumber the people that you might actually want to date—or even marry. But even when we know no good can come from dating assholes, they can sometimes be a welcome distraction from the day-to-day monotony of our own lives.

Dating assholes might actually help you out in the long run and maybe even help you better yourself. Just ask Amber Rose. But first, you need to understand that you’re dating an asshole. And by asshole, I mean, the person that you would never take home to meet the family, and hide from your friends. This is the kind of person that thinks they’re too cool for anything and thinks they are above everyone else; so pretty much anyone who thinks Kanye West is an amazing person.

Okay, the real reason we chase people, dream up relationships, hate sleeping alone, and pine for people we can’t have is that it distracts us from our boring day-to-day life. The reason we date assholes is that we’re really just bored and don’t want to end up alone. We’re looking for an escape from the mundane, a respite from the usual. Our relationships are supposed to defy our boring workweeks and average nights in watching boring T.V. In reality though, there are perks to dating an asshole.

1. They Help Better Our Sex Lives.

Think of it as bettering your sex life and learning new things. When dating an asshole, we could be ourselves and not have to worry what they think. And if you do, you shouldn’t. Sex is a big part of every relationship, and when dating an A-hole, you could try new and exciting sex positions like, The Spider, The Galloping Horse or even The Good Spread. Yes, those are real names.

2. You Don’t Have To Have “The Talk” With Them.

We all hate having that talk with the person we’re dating. Where’s this going? I love you, do you love me? When can I meet your family? It’s uncomfortable and we always come off as the crazy one who wants to rush things. We can’t help who we’re attracted to or fall in love with. But you need to go into this knowing nothing will come out of it. You’ll never need to have that talk with the asshole. It’s not that you both don’t care for each other, but you both know, what you have is just temporary.

3. You’re Able To Focus On Yourself, Your Goals And Your Dreams.

When we date someone we tend to forget about our individual needs and lose track of our own dreams and what we need to do to achieve them. You shouldn’t be spending all of your time with the asshole—they are there only for comfort. You know it, and so do they. Spend time reaching those goals and going for it.

4. They Help You See The Bigger Picture In Life.

We all want to meet someone to spend the rest of our lives with. Every movie we watch, every book we read, every song we hear has to do with falling in love. But with so many dating and hookup apps, it makes it a little harder to find that special someone right away.

You need to be open to dating assholes and douchebags to help mend your heart. We also can’t think that our lives are empty or that much lonelier just because we’re not in love or married with kids. By dating assholes, you might also come to see that you don’t want to meet someone; maybe your life is better off the way it is. No one could tell you that but you.

It’s that asshole that we date that helps us find who we are, and leads us to the next road we must take. Though we could never truly see ourselves with them, they’re the ones that help give us that little push we all have to take in life. TC mark