Things To Remember When You’re Single
Remember to take advantage. Accept invitations, talk to strangers, go to sleep at 7 p.m. if that’s what makes you happy. Do everything you have time to do and when you’ve finished, do it all over again.
Believe in yourself. Don’t feel like you’re not good enough to be loved. Self-pity is a good way to stay single. Self-respect is a good way to stay grounded. Remember that people who are in relationships were once single.
Remember that people in relationships have problems, too. Don’t feel jealous or wish them ill or think they have it easier than you do. Sometimes a coupled person, miles away from where you rest your head, will cry himself to sleep because of the loneliness that can exist in a relationship. Remember that.
Treat your dates kindly. Remember that they are people who want to believe in something as much as you do. They might not be right for you, but that doesn’t render them worthless. Respect them: you’re fighting the same fight. Don’t make dating more terrifying and lonely than it already is. If it doesn’t work out, wish them well and mean it.
Remember that sex will not trick someone into falling in love with you. Do not use it as a tool. Do not use it as a weapon. Do not use it as a means to an end. Have it and enjoy it, but do not abuse it or mistake it for love.
Don’t dwell on the things you can’t change about yourself: your height or your age or your past. Change the way you think about the those things and be done with them. Remember that everyone struggles with the hand they’ve been dealt; in that way you are very much not alone.
Don’t blame everyone for the actions of one person. Give people a fair chance. You shouldn’t have to pay for someone else’s mistakes, and neither should anyone else. We’re all burdened with collateral damage, but blaming other people won’t help repair it. Relearning to trust people will.
Remember to use a condom.
Remember to have fun. Spend time with your family and friends. Read more. Create something you’re proud of. Make your own rules and then break them. Swap spit. Take trips alone. Love yourself. Be selfish without being malevolent. Flirt. Treat yourself to an expensive dinner because you deserve it, you deserve it all.
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Last week I got to meet a man in the last six hours of his life, although I obviously didn’t know that at the time.
Donna’s Coffee Shop, 800 N. Charles Street, Mount Vernon.
Soon, your honger — your hungry anger — will drive you to eat that Jumbo Slice and/or pack of nuggets as though it dishonored your family name and this is feudal China.
What I said: “Oh yeah! I’m sorry I’m just really out of it. What’s your name again?”
What I meant: “I’ve never met you before and you just want pity in the face of tragedy.”