The Different Kinds Of Hipsters There Are

Apr. 1, 2011
Ryan O’Connell is a 25 year-old writer based in the East Village, New York.

The Hipster Heartbreaker

Source: Thomas Peter Schulz

What They’re About: Hipster heartbreakers are total dreamboat babes. They’re kind of too hot to be even called hipster but because it’s such an all-encompassing term, we must include them. They get laid more often than they listen to Loveless by My Bloody Valentine. They behave like aloof assholes, but we forgive them because we want to fuck them. Tread carefully though. After they bed you, they’ll disappear in a cloud of “I’m out of your league.”

Fashion Sense: Anything that obscures their secretly hot body. Long flannels, potato sack dresses etc. Getting them naked is like a nice surprise. Hey hipster girl hey!

Celeb Comparison: Mary-Kate Olsen smoking cigarettes and not giving a fuck with Michael Pitt talking about Basquiat or some shit.

Preferred Hangout Spot: Your bedroom.

Drug of Choice: Coke. It keeps them thin and makes them act even more like an asshole.

Favorite Bands: Their own. They’re the lead singer, duh!

The D.I.Y. Hipster

What They’re About: These people usually live in places like Portland, Santa Cruz, Olympia or Northampton. They love Etsy, read Bust and make mittens to wear in 80 degree weather. They’re usually vegan too and drink lots of Kombucha and have potlucks and I’m falling asleep.

Fashion Sense: Someone’s who about to keel over and die. Think senior citizen with lots of weird patchwork and sun bonnets. Grandpa sweaters.

Celeb Comparison: Miranda July writing short stories about swimming pools in the leafy shade of her porch.

Preferred Hangout Spot: Coffee shops, craft fairs and bake sales.

Drug of Choice: Weed and opium tea.

Favorite Bands: Belle & Sebastian, Camera Obscura and Marianne Faithful.

The Hippie Hipster

What They’re About: The Hippie Hipster is super similar to the D.I.Y. Hipster. They probably even hang out with each other IRL. But The Hippie Hipster is way more annoying, judgmental, and faux-spiritual. They like to live drama free lives and spread positivity, but in reality, they write people off for simple things like eating meat and reading celebrity tabloids. They also can be really into conspiracy theories which is the worst!

Fashion Sense: Um, they have none. Ripped jeans, tie dye shirts, ratty tank tops, hemp.

Celeb Comparison: Devendra Banhart talking to Joanna Newsom about the trees.

Preferred Hangout Spot: Forests, campgrounds, Coachella, and Humboldt.

Drug of Choice: Hallucinogens.

Favorite Bands: Manu Chao and Animal Collective.

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  • ilovecats

    northampton*

  • Joy

    Thanks, I really needed this.

  • lando

    im a hipster heartbreaker, jk

  • http://twitter.com/brooklyknight David Trahan

    IIIIIIIII fucking LOOOOVEE YOU!

  • http://profiles.google.com/dishwaterdiablo Cassandra Nguyen

    lol

  • guest

    “…and have potlucks and I'm falling asleep.” ahahah

  • dmanstar

    How many more times is this article going to be written?

  • http://profiles.google.com/justaduckyguy Conor Foley

    I want to major in hieroglyphics…

  • http://twitter.com/adamjk Adam

    “They’ve always heard that Berlin and Toronto is nice.”

  • http://twitter.com/adamjk Adam

    oh, i was quoting that because it's spot on, not for grammar!

  • http://twitter.com/spencerhcain spencer cain

    ugh, that was good, but it bothers me that you used a picture of yourself.

  • DiTrapano

    “They’re usually vegan too and drink lots of Kombucha and have potlucks and I’m falling asleep.” lol

  • http://phmadore.com P. H. Madore

    Proudly accidental if at all.

  • http://twitter.com/FLYamSAM Denden

    Hippie-Gay Hipster (who happens to love Camera Obscura) reporting in

  • eric

    so great, definitely on point, halfway between the gay/fashion one, so basically i'm just a huge pretentious homo.

    ps you're super cute!

  • Angela

    Good read but I can't help but sense some misplaced anger there. You make being hipster sound like such a bad idea. Is it a crime to be different nowadays?

  • SBB

    love the part about sunbonnets, and I'm glad you put in that last category because 90% of my hipster friends are of this variety. cool

  • http://twitter.com/FTfunkj Joey Martino

    good article but i wish u would have covered the “hip-hop hipster,” wears flannels, thrift store button ups, dickies, tight jeans, sometimes skate shoes and skate shirts, maybe even a flat bill, shops at zumiez, thrift stores, wal-mart, shaggy hair, beard. Hangs out anywhere downtown, electro clubs, pubs, listens to sts9, disco biscutis, bassnectar, maybe neon indian, animal collective, OFWGKTA, das racist, underground hip-hop, any and all drugs mostly psychedelics, pharmies, hippie tendencies while embracing hip-hop culture as well.

  • http://twitter.com/adamhump adamhump

    I'd like to create a subcategory under “bourgie hipster” : the “spawn of 80's california celebrities hipster”… they're fucking everywhere

  • like

    Why? At least he's being self-aware.

  • ha

    “Nothing special. The more “edgy” Forever 21 dresses, cardigans, skinny jeans. Very generic hipster.”

    Haha. My state school is full of these entry level types who think they are changing the game with their Charlotte Russe rompers.

  • Bear

    It's not really different if there are millions of people doing it.

  • cal

    lesbian hipster too. definitely its own subcategory.

  • Anon

    seems long overdue

    or overdone

  • http://twitter.com/LulabelleNiche Gabrielle Bodek

    haha I love the accidental hipster, a.k.a hipster by association

  • Guest

    A true hipster would never admit to being a hipster

  • asdfghjkl;

    if i read ONE more thing about “HiPsTeRz” i will kill myself an take the entire fucking internet with me

  • Annie

    srsly need to possibly add 'aging hipster' to this list. please?

    cool.

  • Greg

    I don't get it…..so which one should I be copying?

  • Greg

    Until the WWE creates a wrestler with a edgy, hipster attitude

  • Greg

    damn, described the hell outta me

  • xmkdz

    the poseur (everyone in ur article)

  • fidellecastro

    What about the lesbians?

  • eddyindigo

    The ones I know fall into the DIY category. Unsurprisingly.

  • PERFECTCIRCLES

    EDGE

  • PERFECTCIRCLES

    2011 is the last year for the term “hipster.” The internet and the world at large agreed to it in a UN resolution last month.

  • guest

    This upsets me. “[Hippie hipsters] write people off for simple things like eating meat”
    For the record, eating meat is a problem that is way underplayed in our society thanks to the factory farming industry having a hand in everything, including the dietary food pyramids people love to preach about.
    Please educate yourself.

  • Dan

    It's funny because one of the writers, Ryan, fits perfectly into the gay hipster category.

  • debbie

    hoping this is a scathing parody of articles about hipsters, and not an article about hipsters

  • Hector

    Wow, the Accidental Hipster describes me perfectly. I feel accepted.

  • http://twitter.com/t_baugh Travis Baugh

    santa cruz. sweet.

  • http://profiles.google.com/rfnoremac Robert Cameron

    “They’ve always heard that Berlin and Toronto is nice. Maybe they should move there? “

    Is it too late to get a refund from your English teachers? Grammar probably isn't hip but then being hip isn't hip. It's boring self-absorption. Like your posts. (that's poor grammar, too)

  • diddly

    I hope you're being ironic and realize that Ryan wrote this article and actually put his own picture for the gay hipster entry.

  • diddly

    Me too. I love Odd Future, only hipsters like them really.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/G-rac-Ushdugery/100000870217856 G-rac Ushdugery

    That actually described people I know as opposed to the ones in the article.

  • Sa

    “They typically went to some It Girl high school in L.A. and went to NYU to major in hieroglyphics or something.” Harley.

  • http://profiles.google.com/oladosuf Bomi Oladosu

    i knew I would appear somewhere on this list, accidentally…

  • emily

    dude gtfo

  • http://gearshack.blogspot.com Naked&Famous

    “Fuck You, Judas” is all i have to say

  • http://gearshack.blogspot.com Naked&Famous

    EDIT: I wish i could afford to major in hieroglyphics…

  • Srrsly?

    Looks like we found a Hippie Hipster!

    Eating meat isn't the problem. Subsidizing it is.

  • Lolo

    spoken like a true hipster.

  • HungHoo

    Hipsters are just cool like that dude. Wow.

    http://www.anon-tools.no.tc

  • Sdf

    ha hipster found

  • Jane

    But if “millions of people” are only .1% of the population then its still different. Just because it has a pattern and a worldview doesn't make it “not different”

  • SteveJobs

    I just want to keep liking this over and over again

  • Ajana

    UM, there are more types of hipsters than these generic noticables. this page sucks

  • Frances

    So create some more meaningless content for the inter-void. This site is a fucking joke. Don't you people have real interests??? Do you ever envision a better world?

  • etc

    holy shit fuck you

  • Psyphi70

    “Ethereal,” whispers the vessel.
    Trembling transmitted frequencies become glimmering.

    offBeatniX wordz of Dovin Melhee
    http://www.amazon.com/nSpace-D…

  • whattothewhat

    i love that the last picture is BSG.

  • http://someharddrugs.blogspot.com Carolyn DeCarlo

    oh fuck, michael pitt.

  • Bon

    I don't know why but I find that type of dressing really hot. The flanno, button-ups, skinny jeans, skate shoes or kicks. When it isn't overdone with over-the-top colourful shoes, it's kinda hot. Am I the only one who thinks so?

  • andy m

    I'm ashamed to admit but I guess I'm  a fashion hipster or something. EVERYTHING mentioned described me.  Electronic music, imported fashion magazines. Smoking weed is EW. But yes please to ADDERALL. o-m-g

    I don't  like labels. but this is good. There are so many D.I.Y types and I'm too capitalistic and electronic or something. Now i see.  Labels. Yeah. good article. Funny.

    I know lots of Accidental Hipsters.

    But aren't we all Accidental Hipsters?

    Who at some point to decides to be anything?

    Suburban white girls? Maybe???

  • http://www.youtube.com/jollygreen303 Darren

    Ugh, am I really that stereotypical of a gay hipster? In the past 24 hours I've listened to Femme Fatale and the debut album from The Radio Dept. almost exclusively so…shit, yeah.

  • egle

    I like that James Franco is under the gay hipster category.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=753766420 Fab Silberstein

    You missed Broke Yet Culturally Rich Hipster. They enjoy shoplifting records, books, and from American Apparel (duh! it’s so easy!). Hang out at thrift stores and grimy bars with unisex bathrooms. Listen to New Wave, whatever record they stole last night, and whatever band is selling their LP on the pool table at the aforementioned grimy bar. Talk about music, sex, and J.D Salinger books.

    Great article!

  • Anon

    You forgot the Culture Snob-Depressed Poet- Ethereal Hipster. 

    Loose Definition: Usually female, overuses tumblr, reblogs primarily black and white photos, many of which display taxidermy. This person acts depressed, and frequently quotes authors and poets such as Sylvia Plath and random German writers you have never heard of. They can be grossly obsessed with WW2 and Anne Frank. 

    Writing and “Prose”: On there blogs they receive comments such as “You are lovely, bird. My heart has ached, and my fingers have trembled at your absence.” To which they respond “Oh, dove, I have been whisked away, by some strange force I’m afraid. Could you ever forgive me, dearest?” 

    They write mediocre poetry, peppered with words like “trembled, whispered, and ached” 

    Appearance: They usually long to appear ghastly thin, or “waif-like” even if it means cutting down on the macaroons (blogger food!). They wear lace, and old nightgowns with curious stains. Some go for the “English Schoolchild” look and sport boater hats, peter pan collars and oxford shoes. Eighty percent of these subjects have bangs, or a “fringe”. 

    Music: Mostly classical, with a handful of “strange, magical” artists like Joanna Newsom, Andrew Bird Sufjan Stevens and of coarse Neutral Milk Hotel. 

    Literature: Like I stated above, they fancy poets like Sylvia Plath and authors like Haruki Murakami. Along with classical poets and authors like Ovid and Homer, though their knowledge of their works are greatly limited. They have an array of favorite novels, spanning from “The Book Thief” to “The Secret History” and “Looking for Alaska” The latter of which, “changed their lives”

    Their long term goals go along the lines of “moving to Paris” or “running away to Berlin” and “becoming an author, with a secret library and speaking fluent Finnish” 

    Habitat: Libraries, at home online updating their blogs, boarding schools, some random coffee shop in Paris, shady carnivals, the forest (finding the faeries of coarse), a park bench in the rain, looking out a cafe window with a “pensive” look in their eyes. Anywhere really. Except the mall, or some ungodly, consumerism shrine. 

    Dream mate: Depressed poet with long, dark hair. Drinks as much coffee as they do. Knows all of their favorite authors and musicians. Perhaps has a secret obsession for Dr. Who, or idolizes Anne Frank. Is “incomplete” and struggling. 

     

  • Anon.

    You forgot the Culture Snob-Depressed Poet- Ethereal Hipster. 

    Loose Definition: Usually female, overuses tumblr, reblogs primarily black and white photos, many of which display taxidermy. This person acts depressed, and frequently quotes authors and poets such as Sylvia Plath and random German writers you have never heard of. They can be grossly obsessed with WW2 and Anne Frank. 

    Writing and “Prose”: On there blogs they receive comments such as “You are lovely, bird. My heart has ached, and my fingers have trembled at your absence.” To which they respond “Oh, dove, I have been whisked away, by some strange force I’m afraid. Could you ever forgive me, dearest?” 

    They write mediocre poetry, peppered with words like “trembled, whispered, and ached” 

    Appearance: They usually long to appear ghastly thin, or “waif-like” even if it means cutting down on the macaroons (blogger food!). They wear lace, and old nightgowns with curious stains. Some go for the “English Schoolchild” look and sport boater hats, peter pan collars and oxford shoes. Eighty percent of these subjects have bangs, or a “fringe”. 

    Music: Mostly classical, with a handful of “strange, magical” artists like Joanna Newsom, Andrew Bird Sufjan Stevens and of coarse Neutral Milk Hotel. 

    Literature: Like I stated above, they fancy poets like Sylvia Plath and authors like Haruki Murakami. Along with classical poets and authors like Ovid and Homer, though their knowledge of their works are greatly limited. They have an array of favorite novels, spanning from “The Book Thief” to “The Secret History” and “Looking for Alaska” The latter of which, “changed their lives”

    Their long term goals go along the lines of “moving to Paris” or “running away to Berlin” and “becoming an author, with a secret library and speaking fluent Finnish” 

    Habitat: Libraries, at home online updating their blogs, boarding schools, some random coffee shop in Paris, shady carnivals, the forest (finding the faeries of coarse), a park bench in the rain, looking out a cafe window with a “pensive” look in their eyes. Anywhere really. Except the mall, or some ungodly, consumerism shrine. 

    Dream mate: Depressed poet with long, dark hair. Drinks as much coffee as they do. Knows all of their favorite authors and musicians. Perhaps has a secret obsession for Dr. Who, or idolizes Anne Frank. Is “incomplete” and struggling. 

  • Anonymous

    Haha I think I am one of these! Except not depressed, and my poetry is hopefully better than what you described, and no bangs. But the too much coffee, b&W photography-fixation, blogging, love for Sylvia Plath and German poets, macaroons, and running away to Paris that all fits.

  • Anonymous

    So glad the “accidental hipster” was mentioned because I needed a term to describe almost everyone else in Brooklyn. I guess. 

  • Sara

    the accidental hipster photo looks like you pulled it form someones fb. who is it?
     i want to stalk and imagine us boning. idc if he’s not straight.

  • Flolover

    I was trying to decide whether and I was the gay hipster or accidenta hipster and then I scrolled down and saw that the accidental hipsters favorite band was Florence + The Machine and I had her album on shuffle. Yep I love her but I am sooo gay that I think I’m a gay hipster because I fit all the gay hipsters criteria and music taste. And I really lie Florence + The Machine.

  • http://twitter.com/WickedWillow666 Pranali Naik

    O.o 
    That was freakishly spot on. 

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