The Gay Hipster
What They’re About: These hipsters love to S the D in an alternative way. They dress super cute, unapologetically love Britney and Gaga, read Butt magazine and love anything that’s queer subculture/underground. They’ve always heard that Berlin and Toronto is nice. Maybe they should move there? They either have tons of sex or none at all and like to dress “masculine,” drink beers, and flirt with boys. They also love campy movies and obscure films only. Showgirls and My Own Private Idaho please!
Fashion Sense: If it’s not tight, it ain’t right. Flannels during the winter, tank tops and short shorts during the summer.
Celeb Comparison: Xavier Dolan, John Cameron Mitchell, James Franco.
Preferred Hangout Spot: Bars, parks, Grindr.
Drug of Choice: Everything. Being gay is hard! J/K…
Favorite Bands: The Smiths, The Velvet Underground, Scissor Sisters, Justin Timberlake.
The Fashion Hipster
What They’re About: The Fashion Hipster is typically not very nice and tends to have a real pack mentality. They check fashion blogs religiously, buy imported fashion magazines, and are either the most fashion-forward person in their shithole town or live in New York. They will suck your soul.
Fashion Sense: Rodarte, Rag & Bone, Acne, Band of Outsiders, A.P.C. mixed with a piss-poor attitude and a dollop of delusional glamour.
Celeb Comparison: Kirsten Dunst, The Olsen Twins, Liv Tyler, Alexa Chung, Kate Bosworth.
Preferred Hangout Spot: Paris, hotels, a club you can’t get into.
Drug of Choice: Adderall and coffee.
Favorite Bands: Glass Candy, Cut Copy, anything electronic they can dance to that lacks melody or feeling.
The Bourgie Hipster
What They’re About: These are some rich motherfuckers. They typically went to some It Girl high school in L.A. and went to NYU to major in hieroglyphics or something. They pal around with celebs, eat at restaurants like Pastis, and basically spend thousands of dollars to look broke.
Fashion Sense: Anything expensive that looks cheap. They always have nice bags and shoes though.
Celeb Comparison: Celebrities are already rich so I don’t know. Mischa Barton?
Preferred Hangout Spot: Don Hill’s, Kenmare, Le Bain, a loft.
Drug of Choice: Pills! Xanax and Oxy.
Favorite Bands: The Smith Westerns, Lykke Li, The Like
The Accidental Hipster
What They’re About: The Accidental Hipster is someone who is a hipster strictly by circumstance. Maybe they went to a liberal arts school like Sarah Lawrence, wore a lot of floral, and liked an M.I.A. song, but they don’t identify with the hipster lifestyle. The term is just so broad that they happened to just make the cut.
Fashion Sense: Nothing special. The more “edgy” Forever 21 dresses, cardigans, skinny jeans. Very generic hipster.
Celeb Comparison: Shia LeBeouf?
Preferred Hangout Spot: House parties.
Drug of Choice: No thanks. They love to drink though!
Favorite Bands: Florence + The Machine, I guess.