Five Emotions Invented By The Internet

Jan. 12, 2011

By Leigh Alexander info

Leigh Alexander is a video game journalist based in Brooklyn, New York.

Read more »

A vague and gnawing pang of anxiety centered around an IM window that has lulled. During this time an individual feels unsure whether they have offended the IM recipient, committed a breach of IM etiquette, or have otherwise spoilt the presentation of themselves carefully crafted thus far thanks to the miracles of the textual medium. The individual must be at least vaguely aware that they are being vaguely paranoid, and must tell themselves things like ‘he probably just stepped away from the keyboard’ or ‘I know she is at work right now so perhaps she has stopped replying because she is busy.’

This sentiment of anxiety must surface only after an extremely brief lapse in the pace of the conversation [range of ~30 seconds to 1 minute], and the individual must tell themselves things like ‘it has only been like a minute, don’t worry.’ The individual may mull a mental history of their prior IM conversations with the subject and with others in an attempt to gauge whether the lull is ‘normal’, or to extrapolate what the lull might indicate about the subject’s sentiment toward them.  The individual may experience elevated heart rate and depersonalization, and while staring at the screen with an unfocused expression, have catastrophic thoughts about their romantic history, their ability to be liked by others in the future or their key flaws.

A sudden and irrational rage in response to reading an ‘@-reply’ on Twitter. The reply is not especially insulting and might be simply a little bit facile, or flippant, or even overly friendly. It is essential that the substance of the ‘trigger’ is not actually upsetting or offensive in any comprehensible way; for example, a total stranger with a particularly goofy Twitter ‘avatar’ might tweet at an individual ‘hope you are staying safe in the snow, [name!] ;)’ in a totally reasonable and friendly fashion and the recipient instead experiences a sudden flash of negative sentiment like ‘who is this person and what makes someone randomly wish for the safety of a stranger, they are probably a loser, I am offended by the attention of this obsequious weirdo.’

Or the individual might Tweet seeking recommendations for what to watch on Hulu and receive a reply that says ‘have you seen [x]’ where ‘x’ is something completely obvious that everyone has seen, and the individual experiences the strong urge to reply with something virulent or to tweet ‘WHY ARE IDIOTS FOLLOWING ME WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE.’ Throughout the immediate rush of irrational hair-trigger irritation the individual is vaguely aware that their reaction is completely inappropriate for the situation of being addressed in a less than desirable way by strangers on the internet. In advanced cases the person tweets something stark or vicious about the state of society or about the internet and deletes it ~15-30 seconds later after realizing it is exceptionally unwarranted.

The state of being ‘installed’ at a computer or laptop for an extended period of time without purpose, characterized by a blurry, formless anxiety undercut with something hard like desperation. During this time the individual will have several windows open, generally several browser ‘tabs,’ a Microsoft Word document in some state of incompletion, the individual’s own Facebook page as well as that of another randomly-selected individual who may or may not be on the ‘friends’ list, 2-5 Gchat conversations that are no longer immediately active, possibly iTunes and a ‘client’ for Twitter. The individual will switch between the open applications/tabs in a fashion that appears organized but is functionally aimless, will return to reading some kind of ‘blog post’ in one browser tab and become distracted at the third paragraph for the third time before switching to the Gmail inbox and refreshing it again.

The behavior equates to mindlessly refreshing and ‘lozenging’ the same sources of information repeatedly. While performing this behavior the individual feels a sense of numb depersonalization, being calmly and pragmatically aware that they have no identifiable need to be at the computer nor are they gleaning any practical use from it at that moment, and the individual may feel vaguely uncomfortable or ashamed about this awareness in concert with the fact that they continue to perform the idle ‘refreshing’ behavior. They may feel increasingly anxious and needful, similar to the sensation of having an itch that needs scratching or a thirst that needs quenching, all while feeling as though they are calm or slightly bored.

The car collision of appetite and discomfort one feels simultaneously when using the internet to seek and consume images or information that may be considered unseemly or inappropriate. The individual might be viewing a YouTube video of an extremely uncool musical performance, an awkwardly poor ‘stand-up’ performance by a friend or something else they clicked on to be polite during an IM conversation to which the individual would have been unlikely to have navigated on his or her own.  Despite the fact that the individual is alone, possibly wearing headphones, or otherwise in a state of adequate privacy, the individual still feels slightly self-conscious in a way that is only possible in the silent digital echo chamber of the internet, under the internet’s populist eye. The individual is unlikely to be able to make more than a cursory assessment of the offending media, and may experience the sensation of ‘suffering through’ it despite the fact that the individual chose, or believes they chose, to view it.

In advanced cases, however, the individual continues to seek out contact with the offending media and offshoots or evolutions thereupon, such as finding a group of Tumblr users who seem insane and flipping rapidly through the Tumblrs while thinking ‘who the fuck would make this kind of Tumblr, how can there be so many people doing this,’ or finding an exceptionally boring and obnoxious Formspring user and thinking ‘god what a terrible person’ while reading ~6 pages of questions they answered. It is analogous to smoking a cigarette while thinking ‘ugh, smoking is slowly causing cancer inside me’ and finishing the cigarette, except for being expanded to ‘emotional landscape’ level and being much more fraught, somehow. The individual may experience a burning sensation or redness in the face or ears.

The sense of fatigue and disconnect one experiences after emitting a massive stream of content only to hit some kind of ‘wall’ and forget and/or abandon the entire thing. Most commonly encountered when a person starts to type a comment on a website, such as a carefully-considered response to a news article, generally for the purpose of joining a discussion taking place in a comments section, although this might apply to a blog post or Facebook ‘note’ if the individual is in the habit of generating those on at least a semi-regular basis. The person starts out with a tangible urge to produce a written argument and writes with intensity and immediacy until they notice they have written some 2-4 paragraphs, at which point begin feeling self-conscious about what they have written and wonder whether the length of their comment is appropriate.

The individual begins editing it to feel more concise and effective, begins adding some details and removing others, until an unacceptable length of time passes and the individual feels increasingly ‘fuzzy’ about whatever it was they were writing. They may feel as though the thread of their idea has ‘gotten away from them’ or that each paragraph of the increasingly unruly block of text is weaker than the one that preceded it. The need to say something has lapsed and leaves a dim, fatigued sensation in its place. In advanced cases, a sensation approximating ‘headache’ but not as tangible nor identifiable as ‘headache’ sets in.

The individual leaves their unfinished content in the ‘box,’ and becomes hyper-aware of its transient nature while navigating aimlessly to other tabs. The individual returns to the in-progress content as if to assure it still exists. The individual reads the content through for perhaps the tenth time in total and then presses ‘ctrl-a’ and ‘backspace’ or ‘delete’ and feels a simultaneous rush of relief and impotence when the content disappears. The person feels decimated, depersonalized and powerless while sitting still for a handful of seconds and may feel depressed for several minutes thereafter. TC mark

You should follow Thought Catalog on Twitter here.

Tagged , , , ,

Bookmark and Share

78 Comments

Add Yours »

Cataloged in

Text Size:

A | A | A

  • uhnonnymus

    Fuck the internet come kick it in for real.

  • http://www.facebook.com/TomSmizzle Tom Smith

    This is so right that it's kind of scary. Great article!

  • Julian Brosange

    I experience all of these emotions.

  • GUEST

    6th emotion – pissed off at articles about the internet like they know what they're talking about

  • Ceb420

    I agree

  • Brandon Gorrell

    perfect…

  • Brandon Gorrell

    7th emotion – spontaneous need to remind the internet that “i'm not impressed” upon reading something that questions my intellectual standing

  • Long Ouyang

    Nailed it with that 3rd one.

  • http://heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com/ tao

    sweet

    lol'd 2-4 times

  • http://twitter.com/leighalexander leighalexander

    sweet

  • http://twitter.com/leighalexander leighalexander

    sweet

    thank you…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Olen-Holm/100001752601215 Olen Holm

    this is so true and it makes me sick to my stomach

  • Bobby

    Ouch, I need to get off the internet… In 5 minutes maybe 10

  • Tracey

    I totally agree!

  • wackomet

    really good job

  • champ

    yo, the internet is a terribly unhealthy mental environment. stay off it as much as you can for the sake of your mind. fucking great article.

  • http://tomhankssuperfan.blogspot.com megan boyle

    seems highly accurate…sweet

  • http://twitter.com/leighalexander leighalexander

    sweet

    thank you megan…

  • http://twitter.com/lulabelleniche Gabrielle Bodek

    I stopped reading after page one, because I realized I was that person with the million blog tabs open.

  • Anthony

    My… God. Have I experienced each and every one of these things because this is what the internet brings out in people, or is this just a litany of things experienced when generalized anxiety is exposed to the internet?

  • jaredsk

    I think I experienced a bit of #5 while thinking about what to write in a comment here. This article is going to meta the hell out of me for at least a week. Eerie.

  • http://twitter.com/leighalexander leighalexander

    sweet, i like 'meta'

  • http://twitter.com/rexi44 Rexi44

    Yes. I do all of these. Most of the time I'm in one state or another. Then there's a “holy grail” kind of thing, ususally in response to some event — you keep looking for the one report/commentary that will either explain it or verbalize your feelings — and you realize you've been reading the same thing by different people for the last four hours.

  • Annika

    Right on. Eugh. I think I experienced all of those feelings, save the one related to Twitter because I hate that website. It's amazing the pointless shit I get interested in. Tonight I read all about mass murderers and analytical psychology for no real reason at all for hours. It kind of bums me out how much I have to rely on the internet, though. It's hard to go two days without checking my email as it's been the primary way I've been receiving important shit like job interview requests. And I feel you about the fatigue and disconnect. Time to turn off my computer.

  • anon

    i'm still coming to terms as how this is so accurate

  • anon

    *as to how
    for all your grammar nazis that thrive in this website

  • http://stevegoldbergmusic.com Steve

    I'll take “gnawing sense of self-consciousness and existential dread experienced on reading a blog post about internet addiction that perfectly describes you” for 1000, Alex. Fuck my life.

  • http://twitter.com/VinStJohn Vincent St. John

    Hahaha the last one is great. I feel that way all the time.

  • love a life x

    …gaia circa ~

  • http://twitter.com/brownnnbear Jocelyn

    pretty much 'nailed' my internet experience.

  • http://adrianakraft.com/blog Adriana kraft

    too funny and too true, you nailed it!

  • Ped Ant

    that's all YOU grammar nazis, surely…

  • Miss Anonymous

    I haven't used IM much until lately, so emotion #1 is new to me. What do you do about it? Give up IM? I think I might not miss it. Any links to articles on this appreciated.

  • Pthalo

    I would like to offer a few more Internet-invented emotions:

    1. The deeply felt contempt you feel towards people who make insensitive or vulgar comments on a blog, youtube vid, or some other site. The sensation is at its most intense when they appear in situations where such comments are least expected, and it is characterized by a sudden urge to accuse the commenter of being rude or dehumanizing, all the while your mind is dehumanizing the person who made the vulgar comment.

    2. The sudden terror one feels when they click on a website or link which could get them fired or worse if someone found out where they had been. This feeling is especially pronounced when you aren't looking to venture into trouble, such as accidentally clicking on a pop up window that leads to an adult dating site, especially if you didn't expect the website to have an adult pop-up or ad in the first place.

    3. The dread one feels when a friend or family member “borrows” your computer while you're in the same room with them, and you realize that one wrong click or peek into your browser history would take them to the adult site that you clicked on.

    4. The self-inflicted misery one feels when looking at a friend or an ex's Facebook page and seeing nothing but happy pictures of them and happy comments coming from lots and lots of happy friends of theirs. This feeling is usually coupled with the knowledge it is a bad idea to look at their Facebook page in the first place.

  • Lokidog33

    Let's not forget sitting in a sweaty panic waiting for your “sent” messages to download in order to confirm that you hit “reply” and not “reply all” on an especially sardonic or just plain nasty email where “reply all” has career/relationship limiting potential.

  • http://codyjohnston.tumblr.com Cody

    Yeah, it should be “you,” unless ANON was referring to the grammar nazis that are specific to this author, in which case it should actually be “For all OF your grammar nazis…” Also, it wouldn't be “in” this website, because that's not how the internet works. It should be “on.” I also don't think “thrive” is the right word, as it doesn't really imply people frequenting the site. It implies that there are more and more grammar nazis here every day. Furthermore, “for” should be capitalized and there should be a period after “website”.

    This was fun. I'm glad that we do this.

  • funkisockmunki

    As if grammar matters on the internet. LOL

  • http://twitter.com/amyrhoda Amy Brown

    You are creepy and inside my head.

  • A Dude

    I'm reminded distinctly of my teen years, especially in regards to my first relationship, jeez.

  • Mnt

    You misspelled 'internet' in the tags.

  • Just Saying

    Can we add to this the “rash discomfort” with the people that need to like or comment on every single post you make though the posts have nothing to do with them? Yes, I know. It's the internet. I put it out there. It's fine for a random thought or passing reaction. It's the rashes. See: http://theoatmeal.com/static/f…

  • Esra

    Spot on! This post had me literally laughing out loud. Love your writing.

  • tech_ed

    I feel sorry for people who have these anxieties…It's just the internet…if it's getting to you, switch off and go outside.

  • kewpiedoll99

    Another “new” emotion that a coworker of mine first articulated is that feeling of suspense one experiences when one has copied something (so it's in the buffer) but not yet pasted it anywhere. It's not quite on point, since it's more generally computer derived than specifically internet related (another one of those being the false expectation of being able to Undo some action in real life when it led to a negative outcome).

  • DailyBipolar

    Lovely! Well written.

  • Blahblah

    wow…. this was real crap. i was expecting something other than bullshit.

  • metapede

    Beautiful. This is me. I would add the anxiety one feels upon seeing references in your friends' communications to a new Internet thingy you don't know anything about. A simultaneous self-loathing (am I too old? too mainstream? uncool?) and fatigue (yet another Internet thingy I need to check out). To wit: what the hell is Formstream?

  • Shii

    I was expecting the same from your comment, but we can't always get what we want

  • Dedphrawg

    brilliant.

  • Shay Pierce

    Great stuff Leigh – unexpected to find one of your articles linked by my favorite link-blogger, kottke.org.

    I would add this one: “The simultaneous adreneline and anxiety when you remember that you made a post on some web forum and wonder whether anyone's replied to it.” The more controversial your original comment, the sweeter and greater the angst you feel imagining the possible replies to it.

    Usually this is followed by another internet-specific emotion, “disappointment and a feeling of invalidation when you discovered no one has replied to your post at all.”

  • Shay Pierce

    Note that, when commenting on this post, I was given a checkbox option to “be emailed about all replies to this post.” Which I chose not to check, since it ruins the suspense!

  • http://www.cindyalvarez.com cindyalvarez

    The solution to this state of unease (if you use a Mac, anyways) is PTHPasteboard. It saves your last 100 “copy to clipboard”s so you can easily retrieve them. I have no affiliation with this product, I just appreciate the amount of tiny little anxieties it has relieved for me.

  • LuckyD

    I really enjoyed this piece!

  • http://silkwormsink.blogspot.com Poetry

    The vague sense of having breached some sort of law by embedding copyrighted material into a blog… http://silkwormsink.blogspot.c…

  • http://twitter.com/philippawarr Philippa Warr

    The feeling of needing to distract yourself with other web pages rather than hammering refresh for page view stats and validation….

  • Njhammel

    The feeling of not even having fully read / watched that amazing new thing today, but you're in a rush to e-mail it / post it / tweet it before someone else does. When everyone has a newsfeed, we're all journalists trying to scoop one another.

  • guest

    the discomfort from having to hit 'ctrl -' a few times to zoom out because the font on a blog is too damn large to read without making overt saccades from one side of the monitor to the other.

  • Nash

    1. A vague and gnawing pang of anxiety centered around an IM window that has lulled.

    It's the same feeling when you get when you say something stupid on the phone line and there is silence

    2. A sudden and irrational rage in response to reading an ‘@-reply’ on Twitter.

    Classic offline rumor reaction

    3. The state of being ‘installed’ at a computer or laptop for an extended period of time without purpose, characterized by a blurry, formless anxiety undercut with something hard like desperation

    aka procrastination

    4. The car collision of appetite and discomfort one feels simultaneously when using the internet to seek and consume images or information that may be considered unseemly or inappropriate

    That's like watching your awkward uncle on christmas/eid tell those awkward jokes

    5. The sense of fatigue and disconnect one experiences after emitting a massive stream of content only to hit some kind of ‘wall’ and forget and/or abandon the entire thing.

    aka a bad date

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/DYMQ74VK55RPNRARHMDV5UNFEE V2Blast

    I'd disagree on your thoughts on #1, as phone conversations can not be made inactive unless you hang up. Analogous to texting, though.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/DYMQ74VK55RPNRARHMDV5UNFEE V2Blast

    There's a “text size” setting on the right above the “share” buttons. And they were needed.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/DYMQ74VK55RPNRARHMDV5UNFEE V2Blast

    You really should pay attention to which button you're clicking in the first place, before you even type out the image…

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/DYMQ74VK55RPNRARHMDV5UNFEE V2Blast

    And that's why you clear your history.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/DYMQ74VK55RPNRARHMDV5UNFEE V2Blast

    It's all one page…

  • Dax

    I've often experienced the last emotion on this list, for the following reasons – uh, um, you know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything. How the hell do you dele

  • http://pitythecool.com Andy

    I wrote a 4 paragraph argument here. But in the process I got so deep into researching a 'water tight' argument that I proved myself wrong.

    CTRL-A + Delete.

    Still…I learned something in the process. So if it doesn't numb me with depression, perhaps its a good thing.

  • Lisa Baldini

    How do you think the is relates to the Macy Conferences and the role cybernetics played in the introduction of computation into our everyday culture? It would seem that essentially you are describing and fulfilling what we they were attempting to do post-WWII.

    See for reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…

  • Richard Cranium

    Buncha crunchy cornballs – the lot of you.

  • Liz

    THIS

  • Diego

    How do you feel about your comment now :P

  • CjEggett

    Excellent stuff!

  • Aidan

    This sketch doesn't quite portray being 'installed', but it's darn close: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…

  • Jo

    Smiles of recognition here though I don't know all the IM references, which is a good thing – though generates a slight sense of paranoia at the thought that not only do I spend too much time here but maybe I am missing out the good bits… :0

  • kribble

    Two tenses? Surely it would read better if you said “I'm glad that we DID this”. Either that or say “This IS fun”. Are you in the past or the present? Sort yourself out ;)

  • help_me

    OH GOD IT'S LIKE YOU'VE BEEN IN MY MIND

  • http://flipsideofamemory.tumblr.com flipside of a memory

    Oh dear this is so SPOT ON! I’ve just read this… and I have experienced all of this except the twitter one. #1 and #3 is probably most familiar to me(happens often in fact!). I mean what do you really do? I sometimes pull another topic out of my head to keep it going, but many times, once it’s gone.. it’s gone.

  • Myles

    When I finished reading this, I realised I was reading it with the voice of Tuvok from Voyager. The writing style just seemed appropriate that way.

  • Adam

    None of those are quite the same. 2 isn’t the same reaction I have to a rumor, 3 oftentimes isn’t procrastination because I’m not putting anything off (I just know there’s better ways to spend my time), 4 is different because in the case of the uncle there’s an strong discomfort from my embarrassment for him. 5 again is different because of the hugely important factor of another person.

    They’re similar and are probably the result of the same quirks in the psyche but the definitions would not be so spot-on if they weren’t in the context of internet activity.

  • Adam

    Number 1 for me usually combines with the realization that I need to distract myself while I wait for the reply. Then the reluctant satisfaction of finding something because the internet is great at distracting. And then the punch in the diaphragm when I realize it’s been ten minutes and he still hasn’t replied ( </3 )

Recently Cataloged

  • The First Time You See Your Ex After The Breakup

    Wow, oh wow, isn’t it weird when someone is your everything and then becomes a nothing? Shocker. Electrocuted. To be fair, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you signed up for this whole “falling in love” business! Didn’t you read the fine print? “Thou shalt become a stranger eventually.”

    By Ryan O'Connell info

    Ryan O’Connell is a 25 year-old writer based in the East Village, New York.

    Read more »

  • Silence Your Phone

    What really gets me is that cellphones aren’t that old. In one generation we’ve gone from existing happily without them to wondering what life was like before them. It’s alarmingly fast, and a bit frightening. We treat our phones as natural extensions of our bodies, aware of our remaining battery life like we’re aware of how hungry we are — an elegant lie.

    By Michael Johnson info

    Michael lives and writes in New York.

    Read more »

  • I Was A Malicious Child

    Recently, I asked a friend what the consensus about me was at that time, and she said, “We all seriously thought one day you might show up to school with a gun.” So let’s linger on that troubling revelation for a moment.

    By Brad Pike info

    Brad Pike is an important historical figure.

    Read more »

  • Stop Delaying That Big Trip. Stop It.

    And while when you’re boarding the plane with no return ticket and no clear idea of how you’re going to suddenly construct an entirely new life for yourself, things can be incredibly intimidating, no drug on the planet could possibly replace the thrill. It’s wonderful.

    By Chelsea Fagan info

    Chelsea is a writer living in Paris.

    Read more »