Ladies, take it from me. They will steal your heart. They will own it. They will take your breath away. They will turn your round iris into heart shapes. They will make your knees tremble. And once you go Mex, you can never go Ex.
My first love was Gael Garcia-Bernal with his powerful portrayal of Che Guevara in the Motorcycle Diaries movie. He was one of my inspirations in travelling South America. I’d be like, “Gael is Mexican? Okay, I am officially naming my first son after him.’ This guy is the love of my life! When I was 16, I had no idea about what Mexicans are all about.
At the time, my country (the Philippines) have adapted a lot of telenovelas from Mexico and I only relied on Thalia’s Fernando Jose as an icon on the undying Maria Mercedes series.
Then came Fernando Sucre (Amaury Nolasco) from Prison Break. While everyone had the hots for the unbelievably stunning Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller), I appreciated Sucre’s mexicanism more. The way he loved Maricruz in those final episodes (she was pregnant, if you remember) made me think that “one day, I will have my own papi too.”
And I did. Twice. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and You-Know-Who made me believe in the goodness of men. I wasn’t deeply in love with these dudes to be honest, but their unique ways are not too easy to forget. Additionally, after 10 years since I first saw Sucre, I found out that he’s Puerto Rican. Grrr, I knew it!!!
1. You will get addicted to the guacamole dips he makes every day.
Onions, tomatoes, lemon, a guacamole and it’s seed — that’s the perfect recipe for a cabron’s daily nutritional need. It may look like they’re just randomly mixing stuff in a bowl but in reality, they are really brewing perfection. I tried to do this myself but it’s never the same. And when you try to ask for the recipe, they don’t have it. It’s just a natural talent.
Why they include the guacamole’s seed is another mystery.
2. You will long for his warm hugs.
Actually, it’s hot. As hot as the strongest “hot sauce” there is. That generous-no-bars-held kind of hug.
You will want to hug them even if it’s 39 freaking degrees outside.
3. Because he can cook.
“Dinner tonight? Your place or mine?” Seriously, when they say this, they are not trying to get into your pants (at least not the first time). They ask this because they prefer to cook than eat out. They always want to know what’s in the food they eat. I mean come on, a good-looking man who can cook while a Mexican song is blaring on the radio.
Come on! Give me a break! That’s too cute.
4. You will how how he looks at you with all the love in his eyes.
These creatures are the most genuine people on earth. Sometimes, I come to think, “do Mexican men ever lie to women?” Their facial expressions are so real you won’t see any negativity.
Just pure love.
5. You will find it hard to laugh at other any other man’s jokes.
Mexican men are very funny without even trying. Jokes are randomly thrown and it will make you laugh your heart out. No dull moments.
6. Because he is brutally honest.
There are no shortcuts. No gray area. Everything’s straight to the point. It’s either swipe right or left on Tinder. There’s no “swipe center!” The answer will always be a yes or a no. “Maybe” doesn’t exist. It’s “I like you” or “I don’t like you.”
Get the picture?
7. When you see a bottle of hot sauce, he will cross your mind.
When I came to Argentina, I started eating Doritos with a power hot sauce all over it and my friends were like, “Doritos with hot sauce? Who does that?!” I smiled and whispered to myself, “the Mexicans.”
A bottle of hot sauce will always serve as their icon.
8. You will never forget his Spanish phrases. Even if you don’t speak Spanish.
Although most of them are fluent in English, they have the habit of randomly murmuring in Spanish while looking at you, watching you sleep. You might not understand it but I am sure you will get to memorize the exact words because it reflects sincerity.
They can even say a bad word and it will sound good to you.
9. He will take selfies with you.
Though they don’t always agree with the amount of selfies you have on Instagram, they will always say “yes” when you want to take one. All you have to do is ask nicely. Selfies don’t make them feel emasculated and that’s one quality of a real man.
They don’t have their balls over their head.
10. You will love them forever. I mean forever.
… and you will never want anyone else. It will be difficult for you to date someone else. You will always compare. But let me tell you that it never ends bad with Mexicans — ending a relationship with them is always a good note, regardless of what you’ve been through. They will treat you the same and that will make it harder for you to forget them. You might even be forced to tell them, “please, don’t be too nice. I am trying to move forward.”
They will obey by letting you be and not talking to you. But they will stay just the same. You will always be that special girl in their life. Which gets me to thinking, if they dated 10 girls, that means they have 10 special girls? Possibly. Mexicans are so full of love, they are always willing to share it.