Are you old?
Remember to feign interest during this stage of small talk even if it feels like a small part of your soul is being vacuumed through your ears.
Greeting her and welcoming her to “the date” is a potential landmine ready to explosively and preemptively end the whole thing before it even starts.
Each day you log on to check your numbers, to see that overnight, enthusiastic hordes of readers have once again viewed, read, recommended, shared and responded with glowing praise for your work. Everyone loves you.
Pulp Fiction, Nonfiction, and the occasional book of erotic poetry.
Calvin Klein — “Between love and madness lies obsession.”
Do the regular scholarships not fit your particular set of skills?
Remember that true attractiveness only comes when you give the illusion that you don’t care.
A Clockwork [insert name of random fruit here as it won’t matter as no one will understand what the f%@k this movie is really about anyways].