“For fuck’s sake, Megan, just show up on time and do your job.
No one cares that you married some douche with no job so that your insurance would cover his rehab. Everyone knows your mom was fired from being a local sheriff because she sexually assaulted (at least) two subordinates. We just want you here on time, quiet, and doing your job right the first time. The company pays you too much to be as big of a fuck-up as you are.
Too many people have written emails to HR about you for them to continue ignoring it. Get your shit together, or go work somewhere else. Anywhere else.”