“Theresa. She’s a woman in her late fifties who acts like she’s in middle school. She gossips, spreads rumors, rats on people for the littlest thing just because you made the mistake of rubbing her the wrong way one time, and has a serious Napoleon complex. Management won’t even take her seriously anymore. Not to mention most of her jokes are always entailing sex and then she’ll make a smug apology to me because, ‘Sorry, sweetheart, you don’t need to know that.’
It’s 2017; everyone knows what the fuck cunnilingus is, Terry. You’re not special because someone was once brave enough to venture down yonder on you.
She’s constantly one-upping people in terms of sob stories or trying to paint herself as the selfless martyr. Get a grip, lady; you’re an asshole who sleeps with married men almost exclusively and you always expect everyone to finish your job for you while you got to the bathroom for 30 minutes at the end of the shift. Sit the fuck down and shut up.”