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“You don’t need no gun control. We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. ‘Cause if a bullet costs $5000, there’d be no more innocent bystanders.”

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1. You love Starbucks as much, if not more than your least favorite family member.

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This might not be real life, but by God, it’s so much better. Just remember: “Burns heal, but savings are forever!”

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When we’re in public and we spot a fit dude with chiseled abs, a pec-tacular chest and no shirt, it’s easy to say, “What a tool/douche/showoff/shmuck, etc.” But what if that man isn’t built like a Greek god? When a pudgy, doughy-bodied dude goes shirtless, we don’t say a word.