While some people need to hear, “I love you,” every day, I’m more into showing versus telling. The following phrases are ways to demonstrate that you love your significant other and should be said early and often, on a daily basis, if possible. It’s best to practice saying some of these things into a mirror and imagining the delight it will give your partner. (Saying, “I love you” every day will always be appreciated as well. Just make sure it’s not a substitute for behaving accordingly.)
1. “You look great.”
I want to know that you still find me delightfully appealing (even when I haven’t showered, shaved or put on anything more than a t-shirt and boxers) and that your attraction to me is never-ending despite our sharing a bathroom. If I’ve showered and put myself together enough to look presentable, then I really need to hear this because it means you still see me as something other than your roommate.
2. “I didn’t think of it like that. Good point.”
If we’re having a debate about something, a phrase like this means you’re open-minded enough to think beyond your views, and that your stubbornness and need to be right is balanced by a willingness to hear my opinion and actually take it into account. It also means that you’ve wisely decided against playing devil’s advocate because really, playing devil’s advocate means that you’re seeing things from the ENEMY’s point of view and not mine. Not smart. You’re my significant other. You should be on my team. Every damn day!
3. “Let’s compromise.”
You may not agree with everything I think and do (which ultimately is a good thing because it’s far more interesting to be with someone who doesn’t mirror my opinions constantly) but when push comes to shove, you are willing to meet me halfway. That’s an important quality because every day is filled with compromises (unless you’re J.Lo or Derek Jeter and don’t need to compromise with anyone, ever.)
4. “Let me handle dinner and cleaning up. You go _____.”
This phrase tells me that you appreciate the fact that I’m not sitting around eating bon-bons all day. I’m working. Or taking care of the baby. Or both. You’ve acknowledged this and understand how tiring it is. You want me to have a real break and time to myself. Force me to go take a walk, to grab a coffee somewhere, or to just stare at my eyebrows in the mirror for an hour. You’re showing respect for what I do every day and it’ll go a long way.
5. “You look HOT.”
Not to be confused with “You look great” in phrase #1 above, this phrase tells me that I still do it for you. In a non-platonic way. I need to feel desired (who doesn’t?). You can’t say it sarcastically like when I have spinach in my teeth, baby spit-up down my chest, or toilet paper stuck to my pants. Here’s a hint: when I’ve put make-up on and smell like some sort of perfume or got a haircut or have new clothes on for the day — that’s a GREAT time to say this phrase.
6. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
So you’ve noticed that I’m an insane multi-tasker. Running the dishwasher, clean laundry, and a bathed child don’t just happen. You’re willing to take the dog out and empty the diaper pail. You see empty boxes from our last Amazon delivery sitting in the living room and you’re not afraid to break them down and remove them. This phrase lets me know that you’re a team player and that you want to step up every day.
7. “How was your day?”
You’re busy and tired yourself. You’ve got an exhausting list of tasks, but you’re still interested in how my day was. You ask the question and actually listen to the answer.
8. “When can we do a date night?”
You want alone time with me. It’s a priority for you. You’re willing to plan in advance to get it. Putting a date on the calendar is the best way to make sure it happens. Ask me this daily until we make it happen. Then keep asking me so it happens often.
9. “Screw the football game. You’re my priority.”
Ok, so maybe this is unrealistic to hear on a daily basis, but it’s nice to feel important at least once in a while. Everyday life is filled with tasks and priorities and an endless list of things to do. These things often compete with things that truly matter.
10. “I’m happy that we’re together.”
You value our relationship and you’re not afraid to tell me often. When you think about all the craziness in the world and how hard it can be to find the right person, it’s nice to know that you are still grateful to have found me and are content with the status of our relationship.
11. “That sucks. How are you going to handle it?”
I’m telling you about a sick relative, a friend who drove me crazy or a problem I’m having at work. You’re not trying to solve it. You’re listening. You’re lending an ear and willing to have me bounce solutions off of you. Be there for me. Daily. I don’t need you to save the world. Just hold my hand and tell me that sometimes things just suck.
12. “I’m on my way home.”
You’re considerate every day. Or most days — nobody’s perfect. When you’re out to dinner and a movie with a friend, you send me a text letting me know that you’re on your way back and ask if I need anything. In return, I’m not constantly nudging you about your whereabouts. I’m happy you’re seeing your friends. We’ve got trust and genuinely are happy to see each other most days.
13. “Is it time for a dance party yet?”
You’re never afraid of spontaneity no matter what day it is or how tired we are. You make me laugh on a daily basis and keep things interesting. You’re not afraid to boogie down to Michael Jackson’s Thriller on a moment’s notice. And most of all, you are sensitive enough to know when it’s a dance party kind of day.