Sophie Martin

“You should settle down by [insert age here], it’s all downhill from there.”

Coco Chanel was an active Nazi collaborator, and was even dating a high-ranking SS officer.

Throughout history, there have been people on the good and bad sides of every fight. It may not be a clear question of good vs evil at the time, but it’s a question of “How will the world look back on us in just a few short generations?”

It almost sounds like they’re all sung by the same girl.

Sending something every now and again to her office. The value of a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates received while in the middle of the work day, in front of all her coworkers, is something you can’t put a price on.

Every song can be about a cheating lover if you want it to, and you can sing along to them really violently.

“Don’t worry, I like curvy girls.”

Using a bathroom at someone’s house where they have not provided a little trash can to throw away their products in. What are you supposed to do, besides roll it up in toilet paper and put it in your purse?? Some of this stuff doesn’t flush!!!

A love of cooking, or at least of eating good food. There is a place and time for Easy Mac and dinosaur nuggets, but you don’t want to be with someone who only ever eats that, and only ever wants to eat that.

Something you clearly bought at a Walgreens on the way over.

I caught my ex hyperventilating into a pair of my soiled boxer briefs when she thought she was alone.

Whether you sprouted boobs in college, didn’t drop your voice until 16, or lost your virginity in your 20s — you’re better for having done things behind schedule.