22 Signs You’ve Been Single Too Long

Martina Photography
Martina Photography

1. On more than one occasion, you have gone out with friends specifically with the intention of meeting someone at the bar, and have completely ignored the company you actually came with.

2. Your catchphrase has become “I don’t even care anymore, I just want to get laid.”

3. You sometimes worry about what will happen when (if) you finally do date someone again, because your living habits have devolved into completely unacceptable levels.

4. You no longer know how to share things, from a pizza to the comforter on the bed.

5. All of your friends have, at one point or another, tried to set you up with someone or suggest that you get on [insert dating website here], because you just can’t give up on love!

6. They are not aware that you have been on a dating website for a really time now, and don’t tell anyone because you’re kind of embarrassed by it.

7. You fear weddings which are a year away from now because you just know that you won’t have a date by the time it comes, and you’ll end up being put at the loser table again.

8. Weddings in general make you want to set baby animals on fire.

9. You have officially gotten tired of masturbating.

10. When people ask you about the last time you were in a relationship, you suddenly realize that it has literally been years, and are overwhelmed by the actual number.

11. Your most recent ex has had several relationships come and go since your break up.

12. Most people assume that you don’t even really want a relationship at this point, because you have turned down so many “promising” prospects.

13. You still consider yourself too proud to settle, but are getting closer and closer to dating someone who doesn’t match 50 percent of your requirements just because you are tired of being the only person without a someone.

14. If you really thought about it, you wouldn’t want to date someone who had been single as long as you, because it would seem kind of weird.

15. Sometimes you consider looking up the classmate you had a crush on in sixth grade and finding out what happened to them because, hey, why the hell not?

16. You have occasionally been tempted into dragging out what was clearly supposed to be a one-night stand because it seemed like the closest thing you had to a relationship at the time.

17. Friends have jokingly worked the word Single into your name before. “Hey, Single Sophie!” Hilaaaaarious.

18. There are way too many months’ worth of content on your blog which are simply too depressing to look at, and you’re often tempted to delete them.

19. You can’t remember the last time you kissed someone and really felt something.

20. You can’t be positive anymore about what your standards in a significant other really are, because the last time you were actually faced with the decision, you were a totally different person with a different lifestyle and personal needs.

21. You hate love songs and literally cannot understand their appeal whatsoever.

22. Your laptop has an actual spot on your bed, with a little space made for it in the blankets and a little pillow that it gets to sit on so it can be at the perfect height. And you don’t see anything strange about this whatsoever. TC mark

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