Thought Catalog

Your ENFP Care And Handling User Guide And Manual

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b.rose
b.rose

Congratulations! You have found yourself in possession of your own unique ENFP unit. There is a high likelihood that your ENFP found you, but regardless of how you got to this point, you are now responsible for your very own ENFP to love and enjoy! Since ENFPs are notoriously difficult to handle, your SJ overlords have issued this guide to hopefully help along the way.

Your ENFP will come with the following accessories:

  • One (1) Starter pack of moral convictions
  • One (1) Unique starter outfit chosen specifically for your unit
  • One (1) Normal socially acceptable outfit (use only if necessary)
  • One (1) Set of puppy-dog eyes for use when your unit senses an emotional disturbance in another unit that is resistant to sharing
  • Three (3) Companion Introvert Units for emotional tending and deep conversation
  • Infinite (∞) Ideas and Possibilities
  • One (1) Internet accessible device for research binging
  • One (1) self replenishing coffee cup
  • One (1) Starter pack of idiosyncratic behaviors

Software

Your ENFP comes pre-programmed with the following traits:

Ne: Your ENFP is a functional walking idea generator. While this trait does make your ENFP susceptible to distraction and excitement, this programming accounts for the exceptionally high levels of optimism included with your unit. Your ENFP will have constantly changing hobbies, interests and ideas. This function can only be disabled through sensory hyper stimulation (see Si).

Fi: While seemingly constantly happy and excited, your ENFP has many deeply held values and feelings. This function can be activated my asking your ENFP unit how they are feeling and silently listening to what follows.

Te: Your ENFP will not only seek new ideas, but will also seek to be deeply informed about those ideas. When this function is activated via the Fi function, an bitch slap mode may be activated.

Si: Your ENFP is prone to random bouts of sentimentality and a preference for familiar sensory experiences. When directly activated this function can overwhelm Ne resulting in uncharacteristic stubbornness.

Getting Started

Your ENFP unit should arrive pre-activated and highly animated. In case your ENFP has not been activated please complete the following:

1. Place ENFP in social setting
2. Place 1-3 included introverts within visible distance
3. Wait 30 seconds
4. If after 30 seconds your ENFP unit has not activated, causing an introvert to cry will immediately activate ENFP’s caring mode.

Modes

Manic Pixie (default) – Attention span disabled and energy levels maximum. In this mode your ENFP will be rapidly seeking out new ideas, opportunities, concepts and possibilities while simultaneously trying to understand and participate. This mode does have a limited use, but no way to know when it is nearly depleted.

Existential Teddybear (default) – Speaking function reduced to existential lines of questioning. When Manic Pixie mode has depleted, this mode automatically activates. Primary mode in small groups of introverts.

Caring – Activated by the presence of another unit with feelings that need to be processed. Difficult to deactivate unless activating unit has been emotionally supported and/or helped. Often involves invasive and insightful and accurate statements articulating what other units are feeling.

Bitch Slap – Activated by both obvious social injustices and direct violation of a personal value. Detailed, irrefutable, empirical evidence articulated to show that another unit has acted objectively immoral. When this mode is active your ENFP will painfully spell out exactly why you are wrong.

Emo – Activated seemingly randomly by a large influx of emotion that your ENFP unit must withdraw and analyze in order to understand and integrate. occurs approximately one (1) out of every fifteen (15) days. Completion of this mode is often signaled by your ENFP unit announcing it has learned something new about itself.

Productive (locked) – Only unlocks under intensely high interest levels or stress. Produces a staggering amount of material in a short amount of time.

Relationship With Other Units

In general, your ENFP unit will be liked by most other units it comes into contact with.

NF: Often activates Existential Teddybear mode. Can come into conflict if values conflict.

NT: Activates both Existential Teddybear and Bitch Slap mode. Also activates caring mode, but covertly.

SJ: Generally well accepted in Manic Pixie mode and viewed with amusement. SJ units will naturally remind your ENFP unit to tend to their physical well being, which they often forget.

SP: Compatible primarily in Manic Pixie mode. Warning: Leaving your ENFP unit alone with one or more SP units will likely result in trying really bad ideas.

Feeding

Your ENFP unit will need to be fed regularly. Your ENFP unit is capable of constant snacking as well as completely forgetting to eat. Your ENFP unit will not die if left to fend for it’s own food, but the consistency and healthiness of that diet would likely not be good. Your ENFP simply needs to be reminded to eat on a regular basis and provided with a few healthy options to choose from.

Grooming

Your ENFP will also need to be reminded to groom on a regular basis. Your ENFP will automatically groom if trying to present a good impression, but regular maintenance requires outside diligence.

Sleeping

Your ENFP will try to argue that sleep is unnecessary. Do not give in no matter how convincing the argument is. Just repeat that sleep is good until ENFP begins to slow down and tiredness sets in. If ENFP continues to resist, take away all entertainment sources.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why doesn’t my ENFP ever finish anything?

Your ENFP unit comes equipped with dominant Ne. As with all things, this requires a trade off. In the case of your ENFP unit, Ne allows it to produce many ideas and start many projects, but does not extend to completion. Upgraded ENFP units with integrated Si are more capable of completion, but even then your unit will always start more than they finish.

Help! I turned around for a second and now I’ve lost my ENFP!

Your ENFP is most likely not lost, simply distracted. It is common for ENFP units to be easily distracted and immediately pursue that distraction. Just keep doing whatever you were doing and your ENFP unit will find it’s way back to you eventually and will have an exciting story to tell you when it does. If your ENFP goes missing for an extended period of time it is possible that you have accidentally activated ENFP’s fear of commitment. In this case, provide your ENFP with a heartfelt communication via phone or email. Your ENFP will at that point most likely return to at least discuss what caused them to leave.

How do I turn this thing off?

You don’t. There is no off switch on your ENFP unit. If you find your ENFP overwhelming, simply tell them you need some time to yourself and your ENFP unit will happily find someone else to annoy in the mean time.

Can I keep my ENFP?

Yes. ENFP units frequently form companion bonds for life, but any attempts to limit your ENFP unit’s freedom to explore and pursue what interest them will result in resistance and likely resentment from your ENFP. ENFP units must be shared freely otherwise they are likely to rebel against their captors owners.

Again, Congratulations on your new ENFP unit! Go have fun and explore! TC mark

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