9 Women On The Worst Sex Catastrophe Of Their Life (And Why They Kind Of Enjoyed It)


1. The Academic Challenge

“Every year at my college, we have an “Academic Challenge” where everyone competes to have sex in every college building. My boyfriend and I were pregaming in my friend’s dorm and had about 5 too many vodka shots. In a room full of our friends, he had squeezed my leg and we made eye contact both knowingly sending the message: “time to have sex in the library.” We stumbled out, unsure of our footing but holding each other. We somehow found our way to the dusty stacks (I believe it was ironically the Feminist Lit section). We were ripping each others clothes off, knocking books onto the floor and really going at it. Suddenly, as I was kissing my man’s neck I look up to see two security officers standing right behind him with their arms folded. I tried to cover up my nakedness but there was no point. They told us we had to get dressed and leave but wouldn’t leave the room because they were worried we were too drunk. Instead of being morbidly embarrassed, I realized the sex is so much better when a little risk is involved.” – Sarah, 21

2. The “Wet” Dream

“I had been hooking up with this one guy pretty consistently. I was a freshman and he was a popular senior; known to take charge both in the clubs he led on campus and in bed. We had a few incredibly romantic dates, which was something I had never experienced before and I really felt like I was being “wooed” in the old-fashioned sense of the word. One night, I slipped up and dropped the put-together facade I had carefully curated for only him to see. I got way too drunk and after a night out at the club we quickly stumbled into bed. I woke up the next morning with no memory of the night and a wet sheen all over me and him. I shook him awake and asked him what was going on. “You don’t remember?” he asked steadily. He proceeded to inform me that while on top I had peed on him. Surprisingly, as I buried my head in my hands, he simply laughed. We ended up dating happily for four years and in part, I think it worked because we got the awkward moments out of the way first.” – Eva, 22

3. Cougar Town

“Some of my favorite moments throughout college have been hanging with my sorority sisters, but sometimes they encourage me to take it too far. It was the night of our infamous “hand-cuff” party that we host every April. The rules are as follow: you are hand-cuffed to a random partner for the night and together you are supposed to finish a handle of the alcohol of your choice. My sorority sisters, thinking they were being hilarious, put me with the freshman cutie we had been calling “babyface” behind his back because of his resemblance to JBeibs. The Beyoncé tracks and tequila were getting to my head, and I began to let go of my mature “senior woman” ways. Needless to say, I was feeling naughty. The next morning when I woke up, baby face was in my bed and there were 5 condom wrappers littered on the floor. It seems age really is but a number. I pour one out to you, Courtney Cox.” – Maureen, 26

4. Bleeding Love

“The guy was in my math class. His curly hair and quirky sense of humor had been driving me crazy all semester. On the last day of class I figured since my grade was already in the toilet from staring at his broad back instead of the board, I’d invite him to this party my friend Becca was throwing. To my shock and surprise, he said yes. The night was magic. We talked about travel, the future and our professor’s confusing hawaiian t-shirts. We ruffled each others hair and finally headed back to his room. We turned the lights off and began going at it. It only lasted for a few minutes before I felt a warm liquid on my face and started tasting something metallic in our kiss. We turned the lights on to find our faces covered in blood. I had got a nosebleed! He screamed like a little girl and immediately ran to get paper towels. We stopped right then and there and never spoke again. I realized if he can’t laugh at himself, he’s not the kind of guy worth being with.” – Chelsea, 21

5. Catch and Release

“In High School, I was the last of my friends to do anything sexual. When all my friends swapped sexy stories during slumber parties, I sat in silence. I wanted to be the girl who could put a finger down in “Never Have I Ever.” I wanted to stop feeling so prude. Unfortunately, I got my chance with Tony. Tony was 6’6, on the basketball team and widely known for being well-endowed. He approached me at a free house and we stumbled into the closet to make out. My kisses went south and I decided to try my first hand at a blow-job. The rumors were true, he was HUGE. As I went to work, my stomach started to slosh with Budweiser and the Chipotle I had had for dinner. Before I could come up for air, I threw up all over him and his dick. Tony was disgusted. I was humiliated. He told everyone at school. But now I know not to attempt to pleasure someone that isn’t willing to do the same for me. Or eat chipotle before any potential hook-up…” – Alexa, 24

6. An Ex-Y story

“I had always had a crush on Tom. His goofy smile and moves on the soccer field truly got to me. When my friend Jessa informed me that Tom was back on the market after his year long relationship, I jumped at the opportunity to sleep with him. I finally got my chance at a small get together in our mutual friend’s apartment. We left the party early together and began fooling around. After what felt like 2 hours, he still hadn’t been able to get it up. He abruptly sat up naked and flaccid and put his face in his hands. He began crying and telling me all about how much he missed his ex-gf. I spent a few minutes patting his back, got dressed and headed out. That experience taught me that everyone need’s time between relationships, boys are actually sensitive (who knew?) and to never allow myself to be a side-chick.” – Tara, 23

7. Hole in Zero

“I was hooking up with this hot, hot senior Mark in the darkest hour of the night on the soccer field one night. It had been his steamy suggestion and we spent glorious minutes rolling around the dewy grass kissing and clutching eachother’s backs. He was the kind of guy you never think you’d score. The “reach.” But I was happy to discover that our sexual chemistry felt undeniably electric. As the intensity progressed, he pulled down my underwear confidently and assuredly. What followed confused even the most sexually experienced of my friends: he couldn’t “find the hole.” After minutes of fumbling, he confessed this to me in a whisper and I burst into cackling laughter on the spot. The takeaway ladies: the white boy’s confidence is a facade, don’t believe it.” – Kim, 22

8. The Newb

“This guy Chet was the sweetest guy I had ever known. Before we ever got into eachother’s pants, he had taken me out on 3 dates. One race-car driving on a famous track in California. He was the kind of guy who you could imagine the whole white-dress, walk-down the aisle thing. He was the rub your feet kind of guy. But… The first time we got “intimate” (his term for it) made me feel like I was back in sophomore year in high school. He had told me he wasn’t a virgin but his tentative fingers in my underwear told a different story. Suddenly he pulled away, “Why are you so wet?” he asked in a disgusted voice. Wow. I fumed for a while but then I ended up going on to advocate the importance of sexual health in High School so that no other girl ever has to feel embarrassed by her own body.” – Cammy, 26

9. Sweetie, are you sick?

“The first summer me and my college boyfriend were together, I lived at home with my parents. It was a hard adjustment for us to not all of a sudden have a space all to ourselves to moan and rock the bed. We tried to be as quiet as possible but sometimes the creaking and gasps were inevitable. However, I thought I was getting away with it. Until one morning, over coffee’s and blueberrys my mom casually asked me to “Please dispose of my cum tissues.” I was mortified and beyond that, felt guilty for putting her in such a compromising position. I learned to find alternative spaces for our crazy love-making (like the shower). Sorry mom!”- Bea, 22 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Don’t know much about innocence.

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