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If He Is Sending You Mixed Messages, The Message Is Clear: He Doesn’t Like You

This story is an exclusive chapter excerpt from 10 Things Every Woman Needs to Know About Men.

What if I do something to suddenly turn him off?

A lot of women worry that doing or saying the wrong thing will send a guy from like to dislike as quick as clicking on the button on Facebook.

Here’s something to keep in mind. When a guy likes you, really likes you, he won’t be turned off by something small you say or do, and it will take a lot more than responding to his texts right away or using too many enthusiastic emojis to turn him off.

If he likes you, he won’t change his mind over something small. If he’s unsure of you, the small things can be enough to cause his interest to wane further. Again, nothing you can say or do will change this; if there just isn’t enough fundamental chemistry and compatibility to begin with, a guy can be turned off by something small because he was never attracted enough in the first place. So there’s no reason to beat yourself up, because it really isn’t anything you did.

Sometimes a guy just isn’t in a place where he can be in a relationship. Maybe he has deeply ingrained trust issues, maybe he just isn’t ready, maybe he’s struggling with his career. Or maybe he is attracted to you and interested, but just doesn’t think it would work out long term because of some sort of deal-breaker (maybe you’re different religions, live in different places, want different things). Everyone has their quirks, and just because one person thinks things like geography and religion are no big deal and love will conquer all, the other might feel totally differently.

I have a guy friend who is incredibly stubborn and has a firm set of values he won’t compromise on. If he is dating a girl and finds that her political views are completely counter to his, he’s done. He will also lose interest if a girl isn’t motivated, because he strongly values a good work ethic. Not every guy is like this. There are guys who don’t need partners who share their views and life values. The point I’m making is, everyone’s got their something and it’s their thing, not your problem.

The reasons a guy decides not to pursue a relationship don’t matter. And if he isn’t demonstrating he likes you in an obvious way, then he doesn’t like you enough. Your mind might delude you into thinking that finding the answers will give you some sort of relief from your pain, but it rarely works that way. The only way to get relief is to move on with your head held high and your sense of self intact.

Want more writing like this? Read “10 Things Every Woman Needs To Know About Men” on iBooks here.

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10 Things Every Woman Needs To Know About Men is an honest, non-sugarcoated guide to understanding men and cracking their code so you can finally have the love you’ve always wanted.

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