Thought Catalog

Valid Reasons Why You Should Dump Your Significant Other

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Dump someone if they treat you like crap. They don’t have to be overtly cruel and pulling a Chris Brown on you. If you didn’t already know, there are a myriad of ways you can treat someone terribly. Your BF/GF might be doing it more on the DL. Since it’s more subtle, their rudeness is hard to pinpoint and bring to their attention. The thing is that no one should ever be making you feel bad about yourself, especially the person who’s supposed to be loving you the most. “Hi. I got into a relationship so I could be loved MORE, not less. If I wanted to be treated badly, I would go back to my best friend in junior high.”

Dump someone if it feels like a lot of work, if it feels like you should be getting paid for babysitting whenever you’re together or if you feel like your best is never good enough. You’re probably with someone who has violent insecurities. No matter what you do, they’ll nitpick everything and put you under a microscope. Get out while you still can because those kinds of relationships can get real dark, real quick.

Dump someone if they’ve cheated on you more than once. Some would argue that you should dump someone the first time they cheat, but I’m not so unforgiving. Stuff happens and people make mistakes. Emotional cheating feels more serious than a regrettable drunken make out session. That being said, if they do it again, you should probably send them packing. There’s obviously something lacking in the relationship or they’re just insensitive jerks who can’t keep their hands off of other people. Either way, it’s no good.

Dump someone if you find yourself getting annoyed at every single thing they do. Every kiss, every sweet smile causes your body to recoil and run away screaming. Um, yeah, that’s not good. That means you’re falling out of love with someone and having immense guilt about it. Save them the heartache and just kill it before you start screaming at them when they go in for a hug. It’s the humane thing to do.

Dump someone who won’t go down on you. You can picky about who you do it to but if you’re in a relationship, it’s part of the job.

Dump someone who has no goals or aspirations. You won’t care at 23 but slowly, the resentments will build and you’ll discover that your love DOES cost a thing. This doesn’t mean they have to be making a ton of money. They just have to be passionate about something besides you.

Dump someone who you know will never love you as much as you love them. It’s hard but it’s something that will save you a lot of grief and heartache in the end. All you’ll be able to focus on is their body shifting away from yours in bed, or letting go of your hand during a movie. You’ll feel rejection at every corner and try to find ways to get them to love you more. Nothing will work. You deserve a relationship with less inequity. Living a relationship in perpetual fear and worry is like being pricked with a needle all day long.TC mark

image – The Break Up

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    • Anonymous

      ryan. please stop being right about all things relationship-related.

    • Anonymous

      Dump them if you’ve ever had to lie to the doctor about the bite shaped welt on your chest.

    • Anonymous

      Dump them if you’ve ever had to lie to the doctor about the bite shaped welt on your chest.

    • Anonymous

      love this! I wish this article had been written a year ago when I was still in an unhappy relationship. The last paragraph is so true…

    • Meera Shah

      i’m thinking about printing this out and slipping it to a few of my friends. 

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1690980049 Uchenna Anyiam

      I think this also applies with people you’re THINKING about starting a relationship with. 

    • Guest

      This article would’ve been so relevant a year ago and probably would’ve saved me from continuing a dark, emotionally abusive relationship. Well done, Ryan. I relate to the second paragraph the most.

    • http://www.eyeflare.com/ Jack

      Ouch, and so true.

    • Sarah

      I could have used this yesterday, before I got stood up for the fourth time by the guy that I was seeing because he was ‘too busy’ to go to the movies with me (never went to the movies in the year and a half that we were seeing each other)…

      Hang on… I could have used this a year and a half ago.

      • Zarah

        i just ticked four of these paragraphs off as applying to me and my current situation.4 outta 7 it doesnt look good.

        • kathleen

          i am right there with you

        • Carleigh

          Just do it. Trust.

    • http://twitter.com/rainbowcouch Ronete Cohen

      I’m borrowing this one too for my practice FB page. You refused to be my assistant, so I’ve gone and appointed you by stealth… And now you can add this to your resume. :)

    • http://twitter.com/rainbowcouch Ronete Cohen

      Oh, and did I say the pay is crap? I’m a cheap b***h, so there.

    • Guest

      My boyfriend should probably break up with me.
      Also, “Valid Reasons to Dump Your Significant Other” would be a better title. Or “Why You Should Dump Your Significant Other.” But “Valid reasons why you should” is neither here nor there.

    • JJ

      “Dump someone who won’t go down on you. You can picky about who you do it to but if you’re in a relationship, it’s part of the job.”Nah, that’s negotiable, but def. dump someone who won’t go down on you, but expects you to do them.

    • Asherwo

      Dump someone who will never love you as much as you love them.

    • Anonymous
    • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

      Fucking love this.

    • http://summerslowrunner.wordpress.com/ Summer

      Fucking love this.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=68101821 Dana Leader

      Wow last paragraph, way to call me out.

    • http://twitter.com/amseries AM Santos

      “Hi. I got into a relationship so I could be loved MORE, not less. If I
      wanted to be treated badly, I would go back to my best friend in junior
      high.” —- Wow. 

    • http://twitter.com/mariedabbles Marie Martinez

      What’s hard is finding someone who loves you just as much as you love them. It’s either you love them more and you’ll spend your relationship being the person who is constantly disappointed and treated like shit, OR, the other person loves you more and you’ll find them annoying and smothering.

      Balance is the tricky part.

    • http://twitter.com/jkymarsh J. Ky Marsh

      Good article, Ryan. Can’t say I disagree with any point made.

    • A Paco

      Let me guess, you’ve never been a relationship for longer than a few months.

      • SarahEli

        I’ve been in many long terms relationships and I agree with every single point. Out of curiosity, which point did you disagree with? 

    • http://www.nosexcity.com NoSexCity

      “Hi. I got into a relationship so I could be loved MORE, not less. If I wanted to be treated badly, I would go back to my best friend in junior high.” — Two very enthusiastic thumbs up to that. Sadly, I think a lot of people revel in having a single person to pin as the cause of all their misery. (You know, instead of themselves. That’s just too much accountability.)

    • melis

      great article. that last paragraph was pretty much the reason why i ended my 12 year relationship with my ex-fiance. sucks and it’s been very difficult and sad but that’s life, i guess :(

    • melis

      great article. that last paragraph was pretty much the reason why i ended my 12 year relationship with my ex-fiance. sucks and it’s been very difficult and sad but that’s life, i guess :(

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