- Once you get over the fear of cliqueiness and bitchery, you’ll be surprised to find that most gays are actually nice and welcoming. Congratulations, gay dude! You’re a part of a really fun group of people. We’re typically creative, smart, and funny (STEREOTYPE, STEREOTYPE, STEREOTYPE) and we’re not going to bite you unless you ask for it (Shit, STEREOTYPE!). One can never have enough gay friends so please start making them ASAPular. You’ll need them to guide you through your homosexual journey.
- Okay, this is super cheesy, but you’re technically a part of history. Things are changing every day for the LGBTQ and it’s pretty amazing. Ten years ago, Jack McFarland was a groundbreaking gay character on Will & Grace. Today, he ain’t nothin’ but a bugaboo.
- You get to love men. Big beautiful men. I have to say that loving your own gender is kind of amazing. It feels like you’re just falling in love with your best friend, and there’s just something so precious about two best friends being boys together and then going home to fuck each other at the end of the day. Makes me weep!
- You can take solace in knowing that with every crappy thing you have to deal with, other men have gone through it or are going through it currently. You’d be shocked to discover how universal your gay problems are. Sisters in the struggle!
- You get to have gay sex. Have you heard of it? It’s pretty amazing.
- You can be close with women in an intense and amazing way. Half of the reason why women are so guarded with men is because they constantly feel like they’re trying to get into their pants. Since sex isn’t a possibility, you can enjoy a rich beautiful friendship between the genders!
- You’re not so pressured to get married and have kids. This is what straight people freak out about all the time. Will they have the marriage and kids by x age? The gays don’t have that kind of anxiety. We definitely want to fall in love but we won’t feel like a failure if we don’t have kids by the time we’re 40.
- Every show on Bravo, every John Waters film, every drag queen and every diva—it’s all for us, by us. Gays own half of Hollywood, Jews own the other half.
- You get to choose your own gay path. You can live in West Hollywood or Chelsea your whole life, eat at Hamburger Mary’s and hang out predominantly with gay men. Or you can live in Wyoming where the population of out gay men is you and maybe a waiter at the italian restaurant. It’s your choice. Whatever makes you happy, do it. There’s no right or wrong lifestyle for a gay man.
- We get Neil Patrick Harris, Bruce La Bruce, Marc Jacobs, Michael Musto (hehe), Oscar Wilde, Bradley Cooper (allegedly) Jane Lynch, Mary Cherry, and Michael Stipe.
The cover and theme for my newest book was inspired by the concept of kintsugi. All that is dark or cracked within us has the capacity to be fixed, to be filled with light. We are never broken. We are always becoming. ✨
“Live a life that is driven; not by fear, but by love.” — Bianca Sparacino