1. Papa Johns: We Promise None Of Papa John’s Old Face Skin Is Used In The Pizza

2. Red Lobster: Come For The Cheddar Biscuits, Stay For The….Uh…Second Round Of Cheddar Biscuits

3. Quizno’s: Did You Know Sandwiches Could Sweat?

4. Chipotle: No, We Don’t Have Queso For Some Reason

5. Long John Silver’s: Just Deep Fry It All And See If Anyone Notices

6. Taco Bell: Can You Tell How High I Am Right Now?

7. Wendy’s: Your Dad Loves It Here

8. Applebee’s: Is There Seriously Nowhere Else We Can Go?

9. Little Caesars: Tomorrow Must Be Pay Day, Huh?

10. McDonalds: How Could You Go Wrong With $1 Cheeseburger?

11. Olive Garden: If Prison Served Italian Food

12. Arby’s: Screw It

13. Captain D’s: We’re Still A Thing!

14. Carl’s Jr/Hardees: Boobs!

15. Del Taco: The Most Wonderful, Magical Place In The World

16.A&W: I Didn’t Know We Were Still Open Either

17. Perkins: Come Visit Your Grandpa’s Friends

18. Chuck E. Cheese’s: Our Terrible Pizza Costs $30 Because Where Else Can You Let Your Kid Do Cartwheels Without Being Kicked Out?