1. Papa Johns: We Promise None Of Papa John’s Old Face Skin Is Used In The Pizza
2. Red Lobster: Come For The Cheddar Biscuits, Stay For The….Uh…Second Round Of Cheddar Biscuits
3. Quizno’s: Did You Know Sandwiches Could Sweat?
4. Chipotle: No, We Don’t Have Queso For Some Reason
5. Long John Silver’s: Just Deep Fry It All And See If Anyone Notices
6. Taco Bell: Can You Tell How High I Am Right Now?
7. Wendy’s: Your Dad Loves It Here
8. Applebee’s: Is There Seriously Nowhere Else We Can Go?
9. Little Caesars: Tomorrow Must Be Pay Day, Huh?
10. McDonalds: How Could You Go Wrong With $1 Cheeseburger?
11. Olive Garden: If Prison Served Italian Food
12. Arby’s: Screw It
13. Captain D’s: We’re Still A Thing!
14. Carl’s Jr/Hardees: Boobs!
15. Del Taco: The Most Wonderful, Magical Place In The World
16.A&W: I Didn’t Know We Were Still Open Either
17. Perkins: Come Visit Your Grandpa’s Friends
18. Chuck E. Cheese’s: Our Terrible Pizza Costs $30 Because Where Else Can You Let Your Kid Do Cartwheels Without Being Kicked Out?