After years of reading romance novels and endless rom-coms it was easy for me to believe the love I was destined to have would be some cosmic event. Love at first sight with a mysterious man with an accent, or that childhood love that never ends.
But love is just love. How it begins, how it ends has little to do with how real it will turn out to be. The right person for you won’t fit into some superficial box. They will be a real, living person just like you, riddled with imperfections. They will be on a journey, just like you, growing and learning from their mistakes.
I have always hated when people say, “When you know, you know.” What is it that you know? And How? I have thought that I “knew” and it was based on butterflies or “signs” from the universe or the fact that it felt good at the time only to end later on. We always believe we know what we are doing until we are proven wrong, making “the one” the person that never proves us wrong and only surpasses our expectations. There are certain things that can show that you are on the right path. It’s just important for us to remember that we are all human beings capable of error, love, and changing our minds.
The irony is, these ‘uncomfortable’ signs actually bring us the most comfort. The struggle is getting to that point because it requires us to get out of our comfort zones and really put ourselves out there. We must set our pride aside, overcome the ego, and submit to love. Let it take us where it may.
1. You Can Let Your Guard Down
The most difficult thing to do in a relationship is to tear our walls down. They are there for a reason, to protect us. But when you meet the right person you realize that anything you don’t put your whole heart in will definitely fail. There aren’t any guarantees in life. The fact that someone would care enough for you to risk their whole heart, and that you would do the same, is a good sign you are with the right person.
2. You’re Okay With Arguing And Disagreeing
You know that you won’t agree on every single thing, and arguments typically lead you to a deeper understanding of each other. Because the goal of talking through disagreements is understanding, and you actually seem to get to that point with this person, you don’t get more frustrated with arguing, you feel resolved. This person doesn’t storm away from you or give you the cold shoulder; they stay and wait for a resolution. Breaking up just doesn’t seem to be an option.
3. You Are Both Aware Of Your Mistakes
Being in the wrong doesn’t cause you to resent your partner for pointing out your mistakes. You can acknowledge where you mess up and use it as an opportunity to grow. This person understands that neither of you are mind readers and it will take communicating wants and needs to get to your very best. Having someone take accountability for his or her actions can be a surprising yet pleasant change
4. They Know Your Imperfections
They know where you lack and love you for it rather than in spite of it. This person would not belittle you or be condescending,. They uphold you to the highest degree and though they are aware of your imperfections, it doesn’t change the way they regard you.
5. They LISTEN To You
A huge reason issues in relationships don’t seem to get resolved is due to the third person. The Ego. When the ego gets involved it makes us resort to our selfish ways. We speak to be heard, we listen to answer, we argue to be right, we keep tally of our partner’s shortcomings and mistakes. Someone who can listen to you, process what you are saying, and believe in what you are saying. They won’t talk over you or make assumptions on what you want, they will ask for that clarity and listen when you give it.
6. You Can Run To This Person
You know how your best friend or your mom might be the first person you can vent to or run to for protection? This person becomes an ally. If something is wrong it doesn’t matter the time of day or where they are you know how to reach them and you don’t think twice about reaching out. You can skip the whole step of beating around the bush until they ask you what’s wrong. They have shown you they generally care about your well-being so you can easily run to them.
7. You Are Weirdly Impressed By Them
Every time you learn something new about them it feels like watching the discovery channel. You never get enough of learning about them, and they feel the same about you. You are both constantly seeking to learn more about each other and the mystery never seems to fade. These discoveries don’t even have to be that extravagant, but to you they are.
8. They Drive You Crazy
Good crazy, bad crazy, “asdghjf!!!” crazy yet you don’t want to deal with anyone else’s crazy. Their little quirks aren’t deal breakers to you. As frustrating as they are, you can easily look past them.
9. They Make You Calm.
Their presence in your life serves as a reminder there are good things left in this world. Like, really good things. Whether it is while you are looking at them across a candle lit dinner or breathing in their fresh after shower scent as you scroll through Netflix titles, there is a simple satisfaction in knowing this is YOUR person. You suddenly aren’t in a rush to see what the future holds or holding on to pain from the past, the present has your mind fully occupied and at ease.
10. They Know Weird Things About You That You Sometimes Wish They Didn’t
Things like your cycle, the last time you went to the doctor, chipotle gives you gas. They might even be able to distinguish your farts in a crowd. They are able to make you happy without asking, find you the perfect pick-me-up when you need it, make you smile when you’d rather be upset.
11. You Forgive Them
As much as you’d like to give them the cold shoulder, or let the anger linger you just can’t. The simplest look from them makes your forget the whole thing. It is easy to move on from issues with out resentment. They know what your deal breakers are and they don’t violate those, and the things that come up just aren’t significant enough to taint your bond.
12. They Make You Irrational
Because lets face it, love isn’t rational. Love isn’t the “Bachelor” a series of competition like dating to find the most suitable match. It’s meeting someone, bonding, and clinging on for dear life. Regardless of the little things you could focus on to make you want to give up, you chose love. You don’t have to assess your compatibility or weigh the pros and cons, you choose love.