Latest Articles

Dan Hoffman, Ex-Blue Collar Worker

Over the course of my life, I’ve held a number of jobs that were objectionable for a variety of reasons. It wasn’t until I went to college and worked for temp agencies over a summer break and winter break, however, that I was faced with employment that made me feel senseless and useless, as if I were one of the alienated laborers I read about during the school year when I was studying Marxist-influenced social theory.

Concerns Concerning Dancing Bear

These parties incur the indiscretions of full on fellatio and, sometimes, its terminate gesture the facial. Some of the more coy women have their friend next to them hold up a towel to block the view from others, a sort of prelude to the towel’s ultimate capacity.

Video of Baby Laughing at Half Speed = Hilarious

Is this extremely funny, or am I just being weird? This baby laughing at half speed is funny as hell! Who would have thought that a baby excited about dogs and bubbles could have sounded like a forty year-old fat man on an acid trip? Or like your hallucinations on an acid trip gone bad? Hah! Video inside.

If Your 20-Something Body Could Talk

Your body probably hates you in your twenties. After eating crappy food, experimenting with drugs, and drinking enough alcohol to vomit rainbow colors, your body is officially fed up. It kind of feels like your mind and body are bickering conjoined twins sometimes. The two often want different things but they need to meet each other halfway in order to survive.

Why You Should Never Stop Wanting To Escape

But survival and great success are born from the refusal to accept boundaries, though it may be strange to conceive of our greatest creative endeavors as direct responses to the fact that life sucks. Or to think that the most impressive thing any individual will ever accomplish is born out of the friction between what we want to be and what we are. 

Why I Spent Easter Weekend Alone

Then I freaked out. I remembered that, unlike Thanksgiving, unlike New Years, Easter is a religious holiday. I thought, “I can’t go to church.” I expressed this to my roommate as we were sharing wine. He said, “It’s an hour of your life, it’s an experience, won’t you just write about it?” And I said, “Yes, I will, you’re right.” But it was a lie, I couldn’t go, I would cancel on my parents the next day.

The Three Best Ways to Melt a Chocolate Bunny

Created by Lernert Engelberts en Sander Plug, this video is three years old, but just as Yahweh rose from the dead three days after his crucifixion at the hands of the Romans and the Jews, the video of the melting of the chocolate bunny has now been resurrected from the depths of viral detritus three years after its birth.

A Recipe For Internet Lurking

Get lost in learning about their life. Go through their comprehensive internet history and “meet” their significant others, their friends, their cute little bulldog named Gus. Cringe each time you look but always come back for more.

Journalism Think Tank Predicted The iPad In 1994

In this incredible footage unearthed from 1994, we discover a group of journalists and tech geeks at the Knight Ridder think tank who pretty much predicted the iPad as an electronic newspaper. They even had a modern-looking prototype incorporating text, audio, video, and graphics.

The Radical Relativity of It All

And then there was us — the beast and me, a middle class hebe and his demi-jew spawn. Oh, it was a beautiful, if chaotic, event — loud music, people everywhere, and some professional skater in the middle of it all. My boy, needless to say, was a bit intimidated — he had his board and his helmet but he was sticking close to his pops.

Vibrators

Here’s a circumstance I’ve wondered about. Imagine that a close single female friend (just a friend) mentioned to you that she has a vibrator that’s shaped like a highly stylized penis. It’s not too anatomically correct, just a normal vibrator.

Networking: Good vs. Evil

Networking: Good vs. Evil

I wasn’t born rich or powerful enough to be initiated into the world of networking from an early age, so I always misunderstood it.  When I dropped out of high school and started getting my own jobs, I figured out quickly how to develop a good rapport with bosses and customers.

I Hate My Mailman

My mailman is a loser. There is no other word to describe a person who is not only terrible at his job, but has no desire to do anything about it. He is lazy and impolite and quite brazen about it. He lies frequently and shows no remorse. If my mailman were my boyfriend, my friends would be afraid for my life.

Jesus Was Way Cool

Well, it’s Easter… again. As a Jew, I remain slightly confused by the concept of Easter — although I believe that it commemorates the day that Jesus brought baked ham and marshmallow Peeps to the Gentiles.

Five Things To Do On Easter

All holidays are really just an excuse to get wasted and Easter is no exception. In fact, I would argue that Easter is the booziest of holidays because it has such a flimsy premise. What do you do in your twenties for a holiday that revolves around dyeing eggs?

Romanticism, Selfishness and Hypocrisy

Shyness is an excuse, maybe, but it’s also a kind of narcissism. In my experience, the really humble people are often the most outgoing. They are more interested in other people than themselves. Like the believers who walk out into the road without looking, they know that if they die (out there, on that stage) they’re going to heaven anyway.

Some Tips to Coffee Shop Patrons

People wonder why baristas so frequently come off haughty, snotty and holier than thou. Well, we have reason, and it’s a perfectly human one: people are careless and inconsiderate, and we get tired of it.

This Roller Coaster is Designed to Kill You

Royal College of Art PhD student Julijonas Urbonas has created a design for a roller coaster that is intended to murder you… with fun! No, but you would actually die if you rode this roller coaster. It’s called The Euthanasia Coaster. Sounds quite horrifying to me, but Urbonas doesn’t think so. He actually intends for the thing (if built, which won’t happen) to lead to a meaningful death.

$6400 Toilet Will Heat Your Rear and Play Music

The Numi’s lid opens automatically. Other features include a heated seat, a touchpad remote, ambient lighting, built-in speakers, an adjustable bidet with dryer, as well as a charcoal-filter deodorizer designed to annihilate any animal smells.

Spanish Gym Offers Nude Work Out Sessions

The gym is notorious for making people feel uncomfortable, awkward, and self-conscious. We put our bodies on display there and move in unflattering, indelicate ways, especially if weight lifting is involved. A new gym in the Basque region of Spain has found a way to make this whole ordeal even more uncomfortable: naked work outs.

On Fortune Tellers, Disney Villains, and Black Swan

The fortune teller’s daughter had planted seeds of thought in my mind, and it was unclear when any of it would take root and grow. But that’s probably what psychics and fortune tellers are trained to do. Sometimes, I think of them as practicing a perverse form of psychotherapy.

Effective Relationship Exit Strategies

Once there was a time when breaking up with someone any other way besides having “the talk,” face-to-face, was totally abhorrent. If you told someone that you and your partner broke up via phone, it was like… disgusting. This was a time when yeah, breaking up actually was hard. Enter the age of apathy – aka now. All bets are off. No one is owed a decent break up these days.

T.G.I.WTF?: Why Everyone Loves Fridays

What is Friday? It’s fun, fun, fun! What are we gonna do? Get down on Friday! We’re going to go down collectively as a culture on Friday’s big fat dick (it’s the most well-endowed out of all the days). We we so excited!

Those Wacky Japanese, Part MCXVIII: A TV Show About Kittens in Bowls!

The Japanese are an inscrutable people. In fact, I feel like I’ve never heard the word “inscrutable” used without reference to the Japanese. Sometimes, their entire culture seems like a version of the “idea balls” discussed in that episode of South Park.  Just random combinations of things. …And so, I am proud to bring you the latest iteration of weird Japanese culture — kittens, sitting inside bowls… on a TV show.

The Death of the Romantic Gesture

It seems like telling someone that you don’t know that well that you have some genuine, curious feelings for him beyond just wanting to fuck has become totally stigmatized. Because showing you actually care equals vulnerability, which has somehow been bastardized into weakness. And nothing scares someone off faster than weakness.

The Pieces Slip Away

“I realize this type of story plays out constantly in the world for many, many families. The pieces slip away or no one cares to remember the details. We see the summation of cause and effect in a homeless face on the street every day. It can be too complicated, uncomfortable and painful to ask why.” – Darcy Padilla

A Hipster’s Guide to Summer Festivals

Coachella has come and gone, and with it starts the summer of hipster-infested festivals. Although they’d love to maintain their pale physique, they love smoking American Spirits with thousands of people more. Tis the season when they show their feathers, as though a bird of paradise strutting its stuff during mating season.

4 Lies My Mother Told Me

My mother is not a reasonable woman. Neglectfully naive in her worldview, I grew up with the parallel views of “everything will be fine” and “don’t you dare do that.” But as I entered into my teens and then my adulthood, inevitably turning fucking up into an annual event, I started to see the holes in her wacky parental plan. Here are some of them.

The Implications of Turning 22 In A Foreign City

I felt like screaming at him “HELLO, HASN’T ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT IF A GIRL WANTS YOU TO STAY OVER FOR BIRTHDAY SEX YOU MUST OBLIGE?” It isn’t even something that regular people need to be told; I thought it was just general knowledge.

Grim Video Timeline of the Rampant Spread of American Obesity

In 1985, our Center for Disease Control obesity map shows just a few states at a 10-14% obese population – but there are far more that simply provide no data at all. So, in 1995, when all states reported their “obesity levels,” the majority have a 10-14% obese population while a growing number are at 14-19%. Fast forward 14 years to 2009, and most of US has a 25% – ? obese population!

A Review of Vivian Girls’ Share The Joy

Gender is unapologetically performed all over Share the Joy, and to miss that is to listen with one ear clogged. Ramone coincidentally uses that word—“girl”—sixteen times on Share the Joy, as opposed to the one “girl” on 2008’s Vivian Girls, and one on 2009’s Everything Goes Wrong.

Ten-Year-Old Unleashes Brilliant Feminist Rant To Boys

A reader at Jezebel sent in a feminist “editorial” that was penned by none other than her ten-year-old daughter (You know she was raised in a household that banned the viewings of Disney movies). The daughter was reportedly inspired after reading miniboden, a children’s catalog that apparently could learn a thing or two about gender roles.

On Identity

I look White. My sister looks Spanish. My mom is Black. My dad is White. We never talked about these things. I never felt like I needed an explanation. At the first sign of summer, I wanted to fry in the sun and be tan like my sister. I remember my brother picking on me – he has a different dad and is darker, like my sister – and I told him that he wasn’t Black, like mom, just dirty.

Pretending You’re A Grownup In Your Twenties

If I’ve learned anything about my twenties so far, it’s that you have the luxury of balancing “not serious” with “real life serious.” You can go out, get four hours of sleep, and still kick ass at your job the next day. Does that mean you should? No, you fool, but you can.

A Portrait of Infatuation

And this is it, you think, in much the way someone feels when they solve for X in a particularly difficult equation–this is infatuation. That satisfying, fulfilling locking into place of an answer that is so simple and yet somehow takes so long to reach.

Rules For Riding In Cars With Strangers

Traveling with pseudo-strangers (on business trips, college-era Thanksgiving ride-shares, awkward carpooling to Marietta, Georgia with the only two other people in your town interested in historic Civil War re-enactments) requires its own set of rules to govern the sharing of a confined space for an extended period of time while keeping awkwardness to a minimum.

Dear Gay Dude: Should I Break Up With My BF?

Here’s the gist: 20-year-old gay boy falls in love with a 28-year-old. Three months into the relationship, the 28-year-old’s mom died and he goes sort of crazy. After a few years, they break up. 20-year-old becomes single but disenchanted with the gay scene. Runs back into the arms of his BF (who was admitted to a psychiatric facility once they broke up…) and is wondering if he is making a mistake by getting back together with him.

Why We Would Like to Love the Rain, But Cannot

We are not used to it. Weeds grow hurriedly along the driveway, anxious that they might miss their moment; their boldness does nothing to disguise that they were caught off guard. For gardeners, this rain is a trickster, pulling bright green shoots out of the ground long before the dangers of snow and cold snaps have passed.

The Standard

He wasn’t dripping in jewels or a famous watch or even some bespoke expertly tailored designer threads. He was part of this new money movement I guess, and by his constant exclamations of “It’s on me, order whatever you want”, he sure acted like it. By the time he flew back home to LA about 10 days later, he was 3 million dollars richer from the finished deal.

  1. 1
  2. ...
  3. 2182
  4. 2183
  5. 2184
  6. 2185
  7. 2186
  8. 2187
  9. 2188
  10. ...
  11. 2220