If You Can Build Your Own Home, You Don’t Have To Worry About Who Leaves And Who Stays

You don’t have to worry about how someone treats you or how much they love you if you trust yourself enough to walk away. You don’t have to worry about someone betraying you if you know that you are capable of leaving and being on your own. You don’t have to worry about someone lying to you if you’re honest with yourself. You don’t have to worry about someone breaking your heart if you know how to mend it.

The truth is we can never guarantee that people won’t hurt us or betray us or lie to us, we cannot control their feelings or their actions but we can control ourselves. How we react, how we respond and how we make the difficult choice to walk away when we’re no longer getting the love or appreciation we want. If you know how to heal, people won’t be able to easily wound you and if you can be happy on your own, you will never again settle or be with someone just because you’re lonely.

Growing up, we were taught that we should always love others and be kind to them but we weren’t really told how to be kind to ourselves or how to love ourselves. You don’t really understand how important it is until you’re older and have been through enough disappointments to comprehend that people can’t always be trusted, even the ones you know too well. You don’t truly understand betrayal until it comes from the person you never doubted. You don’t truly understand solitude until you’re walking alone after someone promised to always be by your side.

The truth is people say all the right things when they want something and maybe at some point they meant it but people also change their minds. They don’t always stay the same, they don’t always know for sure what they want and if you don’t prepare yourself for these plot twists, you will easily be manipulated by others. You’ll get lost in their confusion. You’ll lose your mind trying to understand them. The only way to protect yourself is to stay true to who you are and what you want. Stay solid even if their foundation is trembling.

You don’t have to worry about falling as long as you can carry yourself because many times we hold onto the wrong things out of fear not out of love and we don’t know how to respond when things fall apart. We become bitter and resentful only to realize that we saw it coming all along, we just didn’t want to believe it.

When you make a home out of people, you forget to build your own. Your home should be yourself and it’s that home that you should always go back to when things fall apart because that’s the only way for you to find shelter, security and unconditional love. Your home should be built by you so that when people leave, they don’t take one brick away and you don’t have to build it all over again.

About the author
Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me. Follow Rania on Instagram or read more articles from Rania on Thought Catalog.

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