I know that on some days you wish you could wake up with less chores to do, you wish that you could give your mind a break and your body an even longer break. You’re always running around doing something because there’s no one else to do it. You wake up with either work to finish, a pile of laundry that needs to be done or a bunch of errands you have to run because you didn’t have enough time the day before to get everything done.
I know that on some nights you wish you could just sleep a deep, long and peaceful sleep without worrying about your new project, your deadlines, how you’re going to make ends meet, how you’re going to pay the bills or the endless list of responsibilities you have. I know that sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and you can’t even ask anyone to help you carry it.
The truth is there’s a price to pay when you choose independence, when you choose to be your own pillar and your own caretaker, when you decide that you’re going to provide yourself with everything you need instead of depending on someone else or choosing to live by someone else’s rules.
There’s a price to pay when you decide to be your own person because you’re pretty much fulfilling all roles in one. You are your mother, your father, your husband and your best friend all at once and sometimes you don’t have the strength to handle all of them. Sometimes you truly need a break. So it’s okay to admit that you’re tired and you need to slow down.
Because no one said it was going to be easy. It’s a blessing to be able to count on yourself and equip yourself with all the resources you need so you don’t count on anyone else. It takes a lot of energy and resilience and it requires you to always be present, to always be in a good and healthy state of mind so you can make it through another rainy day.
It needs a fighting mentality and a fighting spirit to face the constant challenges and battles that come with being alone and taking care of yourself. No one said it was going to be easy, it’s painful but it’s the kind of pain you’d rather endure instead of the pain that comes with codependency or relying on someone else for validation or approval or a sense of identity or love.
So I know you’re tired and you have every right to be but hang in there, keep fighting, keep being your own person, keep watering yourself with more self-care and self-love so you can bloom, keep up the brave face and the strong mind and the fighting spirit because I know you can. I know you’ve been doing it for years and I know you can keep doing it for more years.
Keep it up because it’s your saving grace, it’s what sets you apart, it’s what makes you beautiful and self-sufficient and nothing in the whole world is worth giving that up for. So push the brakes a little, get some rest and start up the engine again.