How To Deal With The Mind Games Some People Play

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I have always struggled to deal with the mind games that some people like to play with each other. Let me explain. I hate mind games. I’ve always been a firm believer of just saying something to someone. If I like you, I’ll tell you. If I don’t, I’ll stay away from you and only talk to you if it’s an absolute must. There are no other ways around it, no room in my life for love-hate relationships, I left High School behind ten years ago and even then I struggled with being friendly to people I disliked. And I expect the same of other people and I think this is my problem.

You see, because I expect the same from other people I have become easy to manipulate. I take things for face value. I look at people and try to see the best in them first. I’ll speak from my own experience as a woman who dates men here but this applies to both sexes honestly. I don’t automatically assume certain women have covert intentions to my partner because I am a big believer of supporting all women. I automatically believe my boyfriend, because I trust him will turn other women away and consider my feelings when it comes to other women who go out of their way to cause problems for me the way I consider his feelings about men he dislikes for their intentions. Not until too late do I recognise how he is far more oblivious to the intentions of women who do play these mind games because he doesn’t play them himself.

I have never understood why some people feel the need to get territorial over and play games with other people’s partners. Even when they have their own. It doesn’t matter if you were friends with the guy before he got a girlfriend or a girl before she got a boyfriend, there are some lines you just do not cross. Firstly, they are now committed, respect that they are and they are happy with who they have. Secondly, doing things like for instance inviting them out to parties, holidays, events without their partner is just putting them in an awkward place.

Not once in my entire life have I played those kind of games with anyone, I do not think them necessary, and I respect other people’s boundaries and relationships. In my eyes, a guy with a girlfriend is as good as married. A girl with a boyfriend is as good as married. They are not “fair game” whatever the hell that is. They aren’t automatically available because you knew them first in the capacity of a work colleague or a friend. They aren’t your property or your territory. Get over yourself with that attitude. Not only is it morally messed up, people simply do not belong to other people. It’s deeply disrespectful to think of another human that way, even more so to try to ruin the relationship they have chosen to build with another person.

At the end of the day, if you’re dealing with that kind of person in your partner’s life, take heart. Talk to your partner. Tell  how you feel about this person’s behaviour. Call their intentions as they are coming across out in front of your other half. And when you show them and tell him what this ill intentioned human is doing, if your partner really love you and considers your relationship important, they will see it and take necessary action to protect your relationship from other people’s ill intentions. Remember, no one has the right to make you feel uncomfortable in your relationship. No one is allowed to play mind games and ruin your relationship with your other half. What you are building together is too important and deserves to become a garden made of truth and love, not something which is cut down at the very roots. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Nikita is the author of Your Soul Is A River and Your Heart Is The Sea.

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