Even Through This I Will Love You

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You say everyone leaves, you say no one can tolerate you, that you are a mess that even I will one day see it. One day realise it, one day just recognise you are difficult and overbearing and leave but my darling you needn’t fear because that’s just your past experience talking, nostalgia lying. For even when you are at your worst, even through this I will love you.

Through the storms that cloud your gorgeous, confusing mind, and the moments when you think you are most unloveable, when your mental illness makes you think that you are completely worthless, I will hold your hand and try to make you believe, and even when you don’t believe me, even when you regress into a shell and refuse to listen to me, I will be patient because even through this I will love you.

Through the moments when your anger unleashes, your flaws become apparent, you make the mistakes we all make but are harder on yourself than anyone else, the moments when you are sure I will leave because you have revealed your darkest side to me, the moment you are so vulnerable that others have chosen to leave, even through this I will love you.

Through the seconds when your heart is completely broken, when your world has fallen apart, when the whole sky has opened and all you can do as everything you have build destroys itself and you are sure, you are so sure I will leave because how can I stay when you are here at your worst, I will stay and make you understand and believe, even through this I will love you.

I did not take your hand just to leave you in your worst times. So bring me your storms, bring me your riptides, bring me that thunderous thing you hide in your soul. And watch, just watch, how even through this, I will love you. TC mark

Nikita Gill

Nikita is the author of Your Soul Is A River, a book about healing and becoming whole again.

Your Soul Is A River

“Love a soft person. The ones who are positive, even in the worst of circumstances. Someone whose strength is not in bravado, but in their quiet. Someone who is strong for others because that is what is needed in that moment. Someone who is the moon that soothes instead of the sun that burns. Someone who sees the very best in people even when you think they aren’t worth it. The kind of person who always wants to do the best for those they love.”
—Excerpt from Your Soul Is A River, by Nikita Gill

“I bought this on a whim to read as I was resting for the night, and I do not regret it one bit! Everything about the poetry in this book is amazing, heart breaking, and soul searching. It will lift your spirits on your darkest days. I want to thank the author so much for writing this, as it’s something I will be rereading a lot! Always remember, everything about you is important. You matter.” —McKayla

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