Love With Abandon, Love Without Looking For An Escape

Alexandra Sophie

This is for the people who have always looked for a way out, a way back no matter how deeply they fall. This is for the people who have been hurt so badly, they don’t know how fall. This is for people who don’t know how to love without having an escape route planned in case this love falls apart. This is for people who don’t trust anyone completely with their already broken heart.

I want you to know you are not alone. If you have been deeply hurt, deeply injured in the past, then you become the person you see before you in the mirror, someone who cannot trust the next person you fall in love with that you will give them one hundred percent of what you consider a very damaged heart.

It’s hard to trust someone again with a heart that now looks more like a baby bird with a broken wing. Your heart is looking to you to protect what is left of it, and what kind of person trusts such a fragile thing to someone they have only just met?

Surely they will break it again, so like a child dropping bread crumbs in a maze, you are looking for a way out, just in case this person you have come to slowly love despite yourself turns out to be the kind of person who destroys you, just like someone before them has.

Stop. Stop, darling. Because that is no way to love someone. If you are going to love someone, you need to love them with all of your heart, all of your soul. Otherwise what is the point of being with someone, if you cannot give them you whole heart?

I know you’re scared. Fear is a natural part of this, especially if you have been injured so deeply before. Every relationship needs a safe zone, a place for you to go to so that you know no matter what, you will never encounter that pain again, the kind of pain that breaks your heart. That’s why you have always had a plan B, a backup. But listen…you have to stop this.

Stop leaving yourself breadcrumbs. Let your heart love to it’s full capacity. Fill it to the brim with adoration for someone, and stop holding yourself back because of a thing, a person who broke you. Because how else are you going to live your life to the fullest if you always keep a part of yourself back because you know this will end?

You are stronger than that. You are stronger than all the things that have broken you and taken you apart. Because it may have taken so much time, but here you are back together, stronger for the mistakes, for the moments that destroyed you before. Never forget that a thing that has been broken before and put back together again has no fear of being broken, because it has already been there. It is no longer the unknown.

It is time you start teaching your heart to be brave again. You must be brave, dearest, because life is going to hurt. That is a fact, a truth that none of us can shy away from. But if you’re really strong, you can make it something truly beautiful, the loveliest thing you have ever known.

Be strong, even if you know the destination where this relationship is heading.

Be brave, even if you think that this may have an end.

Be resilient, not because this may be the person who will change your life forever, but because if this isn’t the one, then you have to get through this to get to one who will.

But give your heart and love someone completely, dearest. And stop looking for a way out before this has even begun. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Nikita is the author of Your Soul Is A River and Your Heart Is The Sea.

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