No, Your Standards Are Not Too High

No, Your Standards Are Not Too High

Whether it’s a significant other, friend or parent, know that your standards are never too high when it comes to who you allow into your life. We are not meant to be anything but the sum of our experiences, and with our experiences, we are able to identify what we accept versus what we do not. Relationships are made up of hundreds of attributes, but here are three key standards that, no matter the situation, you should not feel “selfish” for abiding by because they all translate to unconditional love.


What exactly is trust? Trust is an open, communicative, honest bond between two people. It is something that is earned and grown over time. Trust essentially is love, knowing that no matter what hurts or compliments, you will be truly expressive with someone you deeply care for and love, regardless of the circumstances and repercussions.

Trust is taking an hour to get dressed and walking down the stairs thinking you look like a dream and asking your partner “So, what do you think?” And your partner responding with, “Honestly, your hair doesn’t look the best and those kicks don’t go with the formal attire you have on.”

Without trust and honesty, you are setting yourself up for failure and living in an internal cage of guilt clouded with second thoughts. How can you fully be yourself if you aren’t free from your thoughts and emotions? Choose freedom. No matter how much it may seem that being dishonest or not fully speaking your truth is the path of least resistance, it is guaranteed that it will come back in some way, shape or form to haunt your mind and your being. If you can’t live true to yourself and others, are you living at all?

Life is a game. The more honest and present you are in situations, the more you are guided to what your next move is. Along the way, you will be able to capture the signs and connect the dots by fully being ingrained in the now. Each time, the path becomes crystal clear.

By building a healthy relationship of trust and honesty amongst one another, you are able to conquer any endeavor as true partners and teammates. An honest individual’s pillow is his or her peace of mind, and boy do we all love a truly satisfying night of sleep.

Mutual Connectedness

We all know of those people that we meet and say, “Man, you just get it!” Whether it’s your humor, conversation or vision of life, the feeling is pretty mutual. Of course, differences are apparent, but there is a sense of easy listening, easy communication and eventually compromises that work for both. It just feels natural and organic.

People can come from opposite ends of the world or spectrum but still share a life of interconnectedness by learning to truly appreciate the differences and understand the person for who they are.

Part of mutually connecting with someone also includes being open-minded. With the experience of books, travel and meeting individuals who are the total opposite of you, you immediately gain a sense of additional knowledge about how culturally diverse the world is, and your approach and connection with individuals becomes less judgmental and more empathetic.

When building this type of comfortable relationship with the other being, the connection is able to grow stronger as each individual feels safe expressing and being exactly who they want to be, with respect from each side. With this, both individual’s have a sense of altruism in which they present selfless acts towards one another without even realizing because it’s genuine and authentic.


It is often simple to be completely dependent on one another in a relationship and “lose yourself.” These relationships tend to combine two people into one. In this case, either person is most likely making the other person’s problems their own.

Instead of each person acknowledging the other’s concern while listening and seeking to understand without immediately offering advice, us humans are tied to our ego and think we have a solution to everything immediately.

True partnership is listening without judgement, seeking to understand and asking the right questions to eventually have the other individual come up with their own solution that fits their situation. Of course, advice is always helpful, but only when someone is truly seeking it or ready to listen.

The role each individual plays in a relationship is to be a wonderful support system and hold one another accountable, not take problems upon themselves and try to solve them for the individual. This in turn becomes unhealthy, causes resentment, annoyance, and usually leads to distance.

Anyone who you fully allow in your life should abide by your set of beliefs of what makes you feel fully alive without constant doubts and feelings of uncertainty. The person you allow in your life in any aspect will be an open and honest human being with themselves first so they can be the same with you. Of course, truly authentic and honest takes time and effort, but knowing where you stand and taking ownership of your actions is something that you can be aware of and practice daily. You make a choice every single moment, whether you “picked” the situation or not. Everything that comes your way is your responsibility and it is in your hands to take full ownership.

Remember, attraction comes from within. When you are confident in your skin, you are able to attract what you believe you need, and you do not apologize for it. At the end of the day, your mind, body and soul are the only things you literally live in, so why not make sure all three align fully with not only you, but also the people you allow in your life? Embrace the standards you have, allow the freedom of unconditional love in your relationships, and remember, your standards are not too high, they’re just you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

“We’re all just standing on piles of collective fiction”