Sometimes it can be fairly difficult to spot a toxic person when you are being manipulated by their cruel acts. It also can also be difficult to notice if you are being equally as toxic to them, which can just spell out a toxic disaster on both ends. Here are the telltale signs of spotting toxicity:
1. Your partner is always putting you down
No relationship is ever perfect by all means. I also do not expect to be flourished in love and gifts and praise 24/7. However, it is extremely important that your partner supports you in whatever you do, especially if it something you are passionate about. If they use words like “you’ll never be able to do that” or “you’re being unrealistic” when your heart is all in it, ditch them. You do not deserve to be treated this way, as there are plenty of other people out there who will do anything to support you when you need it the most.
2. You want to make your parents proud
If your parents are conservative, growing up can be very difficult if you have a mind of your own. They may want you to go down the same career route they did, or they may have expectations for you to do something you’re good at but you don’t necessarily enjoy. I grew up with very liberal parents, so I am thankful that I’ve always been able to make my own decisions. However, I do wish my parents took my decisions into consideration and focused more on my well-being instead of leaving me feeling lost. Be patient with them. They may be stuck in a certain mindset, but that doesn’t mean you have to fight with them until you leave home. If you can’t make them understand, be firm and stand your ground because you have every right and entitlement to choose your life, not live theirs.
3. Your best friend is jealous of you
This one can be a little trickier to spot, especially if you’re still in your early 20s or younger. Your friends might be putting you down without you ever realizing it. Toxic friendships are difficult to get out of because you have a lot in common, and when you have good times they are great, but they are a little controlling at times, especially when you’re hanging out with other people at the same time as them. Your best friend should be able to lift you up, not tell everybody your secrets or try to outshine your appearance on a night out. You have to learn the difference between friends that have your back and the friends that don’t.
4. You lose yourself around a certain person
Have you ever had someone come into your life who almost zaps out your true personality? You’ll find yourself mimicking their ways and their behavior. This tends to happen when both parties are not good for each other. I’ve been guilty of this in the past, especially when I was suffering from insecurity issues. I tend to mask my true identity to fit in with people so they would like me. A true friend or partner should be able to bring out the best in you, and you should feel comfortable becoming your own person. Do not follow their shadow—it will eat at you.
5. Your environment is unhealthy
As well as toxic people, living situations can also take a toll on mental health. If you are still living at home but you hate where you are, remember, your situation won’t stay like this forever. If you have moved out and you aren’t happy with your surroundings, change. Identify the problem. Is it you that you’re unhappy about, or the apartment you’re living in? Think carefully before making any rash decisions.
Your whole life will be filled with challenges. You will meet people who are just learning curves, but they aren’t actually meant to stay in your life. Life is easier when you are able to differentiate between the two. Do not let anyone mislead you or manipulate you. You are your own person, and you are wonderful just as you are.