I have seen so many of my friends get into relationships lately, and I am happy for them. As the days get colder and winter gets closer, I have also seen so many that are desperate to find someone, just to have someone because well it’s “cuffing season”.
And there’s me, just as single as a dollar bill. But I am perfectly okay with that. After being single for a while, I can honestly say I am happy with my singleness.
Yes, I am happy, but that doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. But I have stopped the chase for love. Love is a curious thing and most people are constantly out on the prowl searching endlessly for love. Chasing love is not the shape of my heart, I’ve largely given up on chasing that premise. Now I want to explore new places, I want to learn new things. My heart desires new experiences, variety and adventure.
I am not looking for love because I’ve realized that is there is nothing wrong with being single.
I am not looking for love because I have decided to turn my attention inward—to really get to know and accept myself.
I am not looking for love because I need to heal past wounds, and to explore and develop new parts of myself.
I am not looking for love because I want to discover more about myself and to follow my own path.
I am not looking for love because I am willing to let the people that are aligned with my life path to find me.
I am not looking for love because I have started to live a life that is meaningful to me. I am no longer following someone else’s rules and ideas about what I should do with my life.
I am not looking for love because I am learning to be whole on my own.
I am not looking for love because my focus right now is me, I want to become more authentic, substantial, valuable, passionate, happy, wiser and present.
When I stopped looking for love I found many things about myself. I stopped looking for someone to tell me that I am beautiful and that I matter. I tell myself those things every day. I learned that I don’t have to have a significant other to feel content. I learned that I don’t have to have someone to love me to feel loved.
When I stopped looking for love, I found happiness within myself. I have learned to love myself. I learned to be confident in myself. I found how to be independent and to define my own happiness.
Love is something beautiful.
Love is something that I look forward to.
But love is not the front and center in my life right now. I’ve just decided that right here and right now, it’s not my priority.
I have reached the point in my life where love is not my focus. Now, I am focused on my own pursuits at this time. I am focusing on my own life. I am focusing on my health. I am focusing on my dreams. I am focusing on my own growth. I am focusing on becoming a better writer. I am focusing on building a better future. I am focusing on living a better life.
Me not looking for love right now isn’t a matter of not wanting to be vulnerable, nor is it a matter of not trusting men. Me not searching for love means that I don’t want just to have someone, I don’t want something temporary. I want something meaningful and long-term, and I am willing to wait for it.
I am not looking for love, but I am open to it.
I am open to love because I am open to life. I am willing to allow the right person into my life. I am open to let love to find me.
I am open to love because I know I will love again. I hope the next someone will treasure and treat my heart with love and respect.
Until then, the best thing I can do for myself right now is to focus on becoming a better woman. God knows when I’ll meet the man he has picked out for me. At the end of the day, I don’t mind waiting. I don’t know if that means tomorrow, next week, next month or years from now. I don’t know when this man is going to come into my life but until then, I don’t want to go looking for love.
I deserve to wait for a love that truly suits me.
I am not looking for love, I want love to find me.