1. You keep putting yourself down
We all go through moments in life when we don’t feel confident or self-assured. We struggle with our own imperfections and it becomes all too easy for us to put ourselves down. Feelings of not being good enough, whether it be in a relationship, through work, or simply navigating life we end up devaluing who we are. Words are powerful, so it’s important we don’t allow our self-deprecating thoughts to become truth. You end up giving away your power when you allow negative opinions cloud your judgments. We have to learn to stop being so hard on ourselves and start giving ourselves credit for our talents and effort. Be wise in your choice of words when giving yourself a pep-talk.
2. You repeat the same relationship patterns
Whether you keep dating the ‘wrong’ person or engage in relationships where you end up facing the same difficult scenarios over and over again you’re ultimately giving up your power. Many of us repeat the same unhealthy relationship patterns we told ourselves we’d never allow to happen again. Whether it be codependency, being taken advantage of, or someone we allow to bring out the worst version of ourselves. Being stuck in this relationship cycle allows us to place blame on others for our actions and not take responsibility for making the same mistakes. When relationships turn sour, we’re left wondering what’s wrong with us. How have I allowed this to happen? We end up believing this is all we deserve. But you shouldn’t allow such negative self-talk define you because you are simply reinforcing bad behaviors by giving away your power. Forgive yourself for the times you’ve entered unhealthy relationships, where you were hurt, betrayed, felt worthless or caused hurt to others.
3. Letting others to determine your future
It is important to listen to the opinions of family and friends but this does not mean others should dictate to you how you should live your life. Don’t allow people’s opinions to shape your future, your career or your life. Attempting to live up to others expectations instead of your own will leave you feeling exhausted. Trying to please everyone all the time, will leave you giving up your power. It is impossible to make everyone happy, so do what makes you feel alive and go for what you want in life. At the end of the day, you have to live with the decisions you make and no one else.
4. You spend too much time procrastinating.
You’re someone who has always had big dreams. There are times when you sit back and envision exactly how you wish your picture-perfect life should look. But you are in a constant struggle of wanting to achieve great things but resist the urge to follow through with it. We can end up spending weeks, months and even years procrastinating. We lack willpower because we are fearful of the outcome. If you sit around not making a decision to move forward than you risk never making a decision at all. You end up playing victim to your own circumstances. By taking the bystander approach to your own life rather than being an active participant you ultimately become a victim to your own circumstances you created, whether good or bad.
5. You don’t use your voice.
While it is important to listen to others and understand another person’s point of view, to never voice your thoughts and to stay silent when something is wrong, you lose your power by not speaking up. There are certainly instances where our opinions are not warranted but to be silent on all matters can lead to us being complicit in any wrongdoing. It is important from time to time for our family, friends or co-workers to hear our thoughts no matter how trivial the subject matter. Difficult conversations are a part of life and you shouldn’t shy away from being heard. Your opinion is valid even if others disagree with you. Seeking validation from people is not the point, but speaking up becomes our duty when we raise our voices and speak out. You’ll never know how impactful your words can be to someone else who needs to hear it.