Because if you can’t go out with a bang, you might as well go out with a laugh.

2. “Hey fellas! How about this for a headline for tomorrow’s paper? ‘French fries.'”

— James French, convicted murderer (before his execution)

3. “What the devil do you mean to sing to me, priest? You are out of tune.”

— Jean-Philippe Rameau, composer (as the priest sung hymns at his deathbed)

4. “Good. A woman who can fart is not dead.”

— Louise-Marie-Thérèse de Saint Maurice, Comtesse de Vercellis (after letting one rip)

5. “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”

— Richard Feynman, physicist and author

6. “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s; I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this.”

— Thomas J. Grasso, convicted murderer (after he ate his last meal on death row)

7. “I’d like to thank the Academy for my lifetime achievement award that I will eventually get.”

— Donald O’Connor, actor

8. “I knew it! I knew it! Born in a hotel room and, goddamn it, dying in a hotel room.”

— Eugene O’Neill, playwright (as he died in a hotel)

10. “And now for a final word from our sponsor—.”

— Charles Gussman, TV announcer

11. “Remember, Honey, don’t forget what I told you. Put in my coffin a deck of cards, a mashie niblick, and a pretty blonde.”

— Chico Marx

12. “Damn it! Don’t you dare ask God to help me!”

— Joan Crawford, actress (when her housekeeper was praying)

13. “Yeah, country music.”

— Buddy Rich, drummer (when asked, ““Is there anything you can’t take?” by a nurse before going into surgery)

14. “Bring me a bullet-proof vest.”

— James W. Rodgers, convicted murderer (when asked if he had a last request before dying by firing squad)

15. “Surprise me.”

— Bob Hope, comedian (when his wife asked him where he wanted to be buried)

16. “Thank god. I’m tired of being the funniest person in the room.”

— Del Close, comedian

18. “I’ve had 18 straight whiskeys… I think that’s the record.”

— Dylan Thomas, poet

19. “They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist—”

— John Sedgwick, general of the Union Army (as he was shot mid-sentence)

20. “On the contrary.”

— Henrik Ibsen, playwright (after his wife said he was looking better)

21. “I should have never switched from scotch to martinis.”

— Humphrey Bogart, actor

22. “I am sorry to bother you chaps. I don’t know how you get along so fast with the traffic on the roads these days.”

— Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond (while ambulance crew took him to hospital)

23. “Now is not the time for making new enemies.”

— Voltaire, philosopher (after a priest asked if he wished to denounce Satan)

24. “I’m looking for loopholes.”

— W.C Fields, actor (when asked why he was reading the Bible)

25. “This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Either it goes or I do.”

— Oscar Wilde, author

26. “Gun’s not loaded… see?”

— Johnny Ace, singer (while playing with a gun backstage during a concert)

28. “Am I dying, or is this my birthday?”

— Lady Nancy Astor, socialite (when she woke up and saw her family gathered around her bed)

29. “Oh, you young people act like old men. You have no fun.”

— Josephine Baker, dancer (while reportedly trying to seduce a younger man)

30. “Codeine… bourbon…”

— Tallulah Bankhead, actress (when asked if she wanted anything)

31. “No.”

— Alexander Graham Bell, scientist (after his wife said, “Don’t leave me.”)

32. “I’m bored with it all.”

— Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister

33. “This is no way to live.”

— Groucho Marx, comedian

34. “I desire to go to Hell and not to Heaven. In the former I shall enjoy the company of popes, kings and princes, while in the latter are only beggars, monks and apostles.”

— Niccolo Machiavelli, Italian diplomat

35. “Turn me over — I’m done on this side.”

— Lawrence of Rome, deacon (while being burned alive as punishment)

36. “Now why did I do that?”

— Sir William Erskine, 2nd Baronet (after he jumped off a balcony)

37. “Don’t let it end like this. Tell them I said something important.”

— Pancho Villa, Mexican revolutionary

38. “Oh Lord, forgive the misprints!”

— Andrew Bradford, book publisher

40. “All right, then, I’ll say it: Dante makes me sick.”

— Lope de Vega, playwright and poet