18 Children Of Porn Stars On What It’s Like Having A Parent In Porn

Sometimes we forget that sex work is, well, a job like anything else. Being in the porn industry is not unlike going to the office where any of us work, only sex work often comes with unfortunate and unnecessary taboos. One thing we tend to forget is that people who do sex work are often in graduate school or have families they are trying to support, too! They’re not fast-talking swindlers, as popular culture would have us believe. Curious about what their lives were like, I went to Ask Reddit to hear children of porn stars and friends of children of porn stars set the record straight.
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1. My mom was a dominatrix and our house was the dungeon.

My mother was a dominatrix professionally for many years. Sex therapist by day and domina by night. So maybe this is something similar?

I did most of the chores in the house except laundry. I was not allowed in the basement for any reason. Of course that means I snuck down… Our basement was a dungeon. Poles, straps, things to stradle, walls of toys and tools…and the smell of incense and something else I didn’t know at the time.

Sometimes my mother had clients when I would normally be home (she usually didn’t). We had a code. I would check the mail box. If there was an envelope with my name on it, it meant that it contained money and a time for me to return. I would take the money and go down the street to a bookshop where I would order a wrap and do my homework in their cafe. At the time I didn’t mind, but as I got older I realized it wasn’t really the best thing for me and that it wasn’t a safe solution.

A few times she forgot to leave me an envelope and I walked into…sounds coming from the basement. Sometimes it wasn’t a client but rather just someone she wanted to bone. I have seen my mother bent over various pieces of furniture in our living room unfortunately when it just came to a walking into her general sex life. She’s also answered the door when I came home in a harness or in her gear. I saw her naked often and she wasn’t shy about it. :/

I didn’t know what she did was weird, but only that I wasn’t meant to talk about it. Sometimes my afternoons were spend having a snack in a bookstore cafe and sometimes I was able to come right home when I got off the bus. I don’t know if it was entirely about money or if it was just something she loved doing. My mother was more down to earth with sex related things for a parent. She was very difficult in most other area of our life.

I didn’t look down on her for doing this though. My relationship with my mother is complicated, but it is due to a number of other unrelated factors.

2. Leave my mom out of this.

My friend’s mom was a porn star in the late 90’s. He would beat the shit out of you if you ever mentioned anything about it.

3. My 10 year old brother had a subscription to Playboy

For a short time in high school, I dated a girl whose father and older brother produced porn. The girl mentioned three things which stick out:

They were moving to digital media (CDs at the time) for distribution because they felt this was the future. They were also experimenting with multiple viewing angles on the same video.

Her younger (edited 4 hours later to clarify based on comments below) brother, around 10 years old at the time, received a subscription to one of the main mags (Penthouse or Playboy or whatever) around that age. He was the most popular kid in the neighborhood.

She noted the pornstars would babysit the family members when she was younger.

It just was so normal for her and she didn’t seem the least bit embarrassed.

4. I didn’t find out my parents did porn until I was 14.

My parents have owned their own amateur pornography company since 1999. They have been one of the leading producers for amateur porn in the adult entertainment industry. My father created the company, and with the help of my mom, built an extremely successful business. I remember when I was 10 years old we had to move cause of my parents work, but I didn’t find out what they did until I was about 14. They had bought a huge house and turned our finished basement into their office. Since then they have established partners from around the world. If you ever met my parents you would have no idea that they did this. But I remember when my mom would take my little sister and I on all day shopping trips, because my dad was at home directing a new movie. Yes, my house was used in the majority of the movies. No, my bedroom was never in any of the scenes. Yes I met a lot of the stars of the movies, one of them became close friends with my parents. She later did more executive work for the company, but she also would babysit my sister and I and we are still friends with her till today. My senior year of high school, my parents were contacted by the city newspaper to do an article because they had gotten a hint of what my parents did. My parents did an interview, and a well written article came out right before graduation. Surprisingly, everyone loved it! I remember my French teacher in high school giving me the biggest hug and just talking with me about it. I was worried at first, but people didn’t treat me differently and most people just wanted to tell me how cool it was.

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5. My friend’s mom hosted a daily web cam show to make extra money.

I used to live in a poorer neighborhood and one of my friend’s mom used to host a daily cam show to make money for the family. She was really open about it and made a lot of money on it. He never really cared nor was he embarrassed by his mom, but he obviously got mocked at school for it. Kids even made accounts and requested things from his mom via cam, but he would just thank them for the extra cash. The kid could never be fazed.

5. My dad did some soft-core porn, nbd.

My dad was in several soft-core gay porn films in his early 20s. He jokes about it now and it’s not really a big deal at all.

6. My nephew was conceived on camera.

My stepsister and her husband conceived my nephew on camera. She joked about it for years, not so much anymore though now that he can understand what she says and remember it.

7. I grew up Christian while my mom danced topless at a local bar

My mother was never a porn star, but she was a popular dancer at a topless bar. This is going to sound backwards, but I was also raised “Christian” (morso by my dad, but she insisted we go to church and all that throughout). So, there was a lot of secrecy involved. My sister and I saw the hypocrisy in her double life and we lost a lot of respect for her. We still loved and supported her, because what else were we going to do… she’s our mother.

Now, 15+ years later, I am heartbroken over it. My mother is one of the most insecure people I know. She is a 4 time divorcee, and continues to seek out men to support her believe she needs to be supported by men, and consequently is forever getting involved with she has no actual interest in. She rents a run down old house in the worst neighborhood in town. The only reason she got into the house is because the church helped her out. My sister and I have been helping her with rent for years now. This is getting a little rambly, so I’ll wrap it up.

I feel the need to clarify, I do not blame all my mom’s problems on her time as a stripper. But I see it as a huge factor in a long line of objectifying, mentally damaging events that has contributed to her current situation.

Additionally, it didn’t give me a great perception of women to know that mom’s only worth in the world was her sexuality.

8. I went to boarding school with Pamela Anderson’s sons!

I went to school with Pamela Anderson’s sons. I was in school when one of them was there (Brandon), but i graduated before i met the other one joined (Dylan). As it was a boarding school, they were placed into a male house and obviously the question came up. I don’t know how they handled it but they were completely normal, down to earth kids who just so happened to be the sons of Pamela. I think you come to terms with your parents past and realize that the past is past for a reason and it shouldn’t affect your present and future.

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9. Thora Birch’s parents were both porn stars!

Ask Thora Birch. Both her parents were in the biz. Her mom was in Deep Throat.

10. My mom was a Playboy centerfold.

My mom was a playboy centerfold.
It was, is and will continue to be really fucking hard.
I didn’t really understand what it meant before I was in the 8th grade, when people started to make fun of me for it. My mom has dressed promiscuously for a long time. There were also lots of playboy objects of her around the house. It wasn’t only something that had happened, it was something continuing on in her life up into the present.

She took me to the playboy mansion when I was eleven. What exactly does an eleven year old boy do at the playboy mansion? You walk around the outside and look at the monkeys and big tennis courts. It was cool then, but now I wish I’d never gone.
When I was in the eighth grade and people found out my mom was a playmate (don’t ever tell anyone something if you dont want another person to know) they used to tell me they were going to fuck my mom. That sure made me mad. It didn’t help that I was new to school and I was bullied a lot.

In highschool things started to take a turn for the worst. My freshman year, a ‘fan’ of my mom made a huuuuuge drawing of her based off a photo in one of the magazines. Admittedly it was well done, but it was up on a wall and could be seen by all of my friends which sucked. Also seen by ‘friends’ who turned out to bug me about it all of the time.

It sucked. It was really hard on me. I didn’t have a father who would contain her sexuality or tell me it was okay. I was bullied because of it. It was a nightmare and it is so hard for me to get over it. The problem is that the attitude continued on decades after she was out of playboy.

Side note: After a lot of family counselling, she has started to understand my struggle and is trying to dress appropriately and remove things around the house. Sometimes she will ask me if what she is wearing is presentable, and now I don’t feel that discomfort. She is trying, but shes human and so used to living in her own way that it probably wont ever change completely.

11. A porn star with a masters degree and two college-educated daughters.

I’ve a friend who was in the adult film industry for years. She has two daughters, 20 and 18. Both are well-adjusted, bright young women. Their mom (my friend), is wicked smart and working on her Masters Degree. She was smart and saved the money, so they live fairly well, travel often, and all three of them have their college educations in the bank. Good family.

12. My cousin is Lily Love.

I’m not a child of a porn star, but my cousin is Lily Love haha. It was weird when I first found out, but looking back at it.. her dad (my uncle) is really controlling and sheltering, so I could see how she ended up turning to it. It’s weird talking to her casually knowing in the back of my mind she’s doing porn. But, she’s constantly flying all over the world and going to events, parties, new cities. So seeing all of it on Facebook is kinda cool. I was teased about it for about a week by some close friends before it dropped off the radar.

13. A friend of mine found a magazine with his parents in a four-way.

A friend of mine found a magazine when he was younger where his dad, his mom, and 2 female friends were getting it on. He’s tried to live up to his dad his whole life.

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14. My mom told me she did porn when I was 13.

My mom worked in porn for a little over 5 years and told me about it when I was 13 years old. It was a little weird knowing that my mom did that for such a long time and I did worry for quite a while that one of my friends or someone else I know might come across a video or pictures of hers. I don’t think negatively of her for doing it, although I was curious as to why she chose to do it and how the experience was and she’s explained it to me in full. She and I have always had a very close and open relationship, so her having been in porn isn’t any sort of issue, although, I’m not sure how I’d feel about it if she was still doing it…that would be kind of weird.

15. I was about to jack off to my friend’s favorite porn star. Found out it was my mom.

I recently found out that my mom is a very popular porn star. A friend of mine (who has never seen my mom) told me to look up his new favorite porn star during our daily “who’s the hottest porn star” discussion. So after a long day of work I go home, shut my blinds, and boot up my computer. I search the name and POW. I cleared my browsing history, shut off my computer, opened the blinds back up, and went to go sit in the shower. I’ve never brought it up. She doesn’t give a porn star vibe. She’s just like any other parent at home, but now I know how she pays for all her expensive purses.

16. My stepfather did porn.

Growing up my stepfather was in porn. In the late 60’s and early 70’s he owned theaters and production companies and then in the late 70’s and early 80’s he made the move to betamax and then to vhs, the theaters closed and became video stores. He was ultra wealthy. He was super flashy and had a fleet of exotic vehicles, drivers, bodyguards, the works. He lived in an exclusive community and had hundreds of millions of dollars but still wasn’t quite accepted.

17. NEVER do porn, my parents told me. If you ever need money, ask.

Well…this is probably going to get buried, but my (step)mom used to actually do some “erotic” films (basically softcore porn), she wasn’t a “star” or anything, it just made her some money when she was in college. The films weren’t famous or anything, and they are not on the internet as far as I know. No, I didn’t want to masturbate to them, I just thought that there maybe was a wikipedia or imdb entry, which I could use to prank her, but nothing came up.

What’s it like knowing? Well, I don’t know, actually. My dad and her told me when I was 16. It wasn’t a long talk they had with me, just some “you know, when your mom needed money, she appeared in three flicks” etc.

I would never judge her for it, I can understand it. She, on the other hand, is very ashamed of it. They made it totally clear that I should NEVER do what she did. They told me that, whenever I need money, I should ask them for it; I mustn’t appear in “erotic” films, ever.

18. My dad posed for Playgirl.

My dad posed to playgirl back in the 70’s. Whenever he gets drunk, he likes to joke about showing it to us.

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