Lorenzo Jensen III

1. Touch your hair, bite your lips, and blush.

Wash behind your ears. It prevents the “old person smell.”

“She was shocked to see HUNDREDS of little flies tattooed on his ass.”

“What really turns me off is bad breath. Had a boyfriend who was great in so many ways, but as it turned out he had halitosis and I had to call it off.”

“She started punching herself in the face in the middle of the restaurant.”

Found on AskReddit. 1. The Serious Victim. Serious victim complex. “I’m just sooo nice but everyone else is mean to me for no reason.

3. The way they incessantly touch their testicles.

“Yes. It’s how I found my current wife.”

“Your mom is so ugly, she went into a haunted house and left with a job application.”

“Spiders everywhere, regular objects turning into cameras, random objects getting wavy, bottled waters breathing, People in the windows, shadows moving. Horrible short nightmares…”

“Nice boobs. they won’t be a liability when you get older.” 

“I can’t really process this in any other way than a real, true ghost story. I still get goose bumps.”

“My dad was a pretty violent pedophile, and also extremely charming, and was a certified genius.”

“From what I was told, he was a nice guy.”

“I may not be a weatherman but you’re gonna get more than a few inches tonight.”

8. Shaved-and-Sharpied eyebrows.

12. Sandals with socks.

1.
Smell amazing.