25 Relationship Red Flags

Ljupco Smokovski / (Shutterstock.com)
Ljupco Smokovski / (Shutterstock.com)
Found on AskReddit.

1. All their exes were “crazy.”

When every ex is “crazy” or a bitch. Generally, when every single one has been crazy or a bitch or a crazy bitch the common denominator is what should be examined. I get that some people just have terrible luck, but most times it’s just someone feeling inconvenienced by someone else’s feelings.

2. Daddy’s girl.

I cannot stress enough the importance of avoiding girls who have daddy issues. Yes, they’ll do whatever you want in bed. I mean whatever. you. want. But, they will eat you alive. All of my relationships have ended in an epic, yet figurative, flaming piles of blackmail, death threats, restraining orders, semi-kidnapping, revenge sex, and a ridiculous number of fake Facebook accounts to spy on me. Don’t be like me. I’m a magnet for that kind of girl. Avoid at all costs.

3. Mommy’s boy/girl.

My mom tells me..

My mom says I should..

My mom lets me…

4. Lying.

Lying. Honestly. If they lie because of simple, small, not even worth mentioning things, what do you think they will do when it gets serious ?

5. Cheaters.

If s/he cheated with you, they’ll cheat on you.

6. Constant accusations of cheating.

If your SO is constantly accusing you of cheating, especially if you know it’s unfounded, they may in fact be projecting their desires onto you. Watch out, they may have already cheated and their accusations are their guilt and overcompensation coming through.

Source: personal experience.

7. Addicts.

Addiction belongs here. I believe in recovery, but having a relationship with an active addict/alcoholic rarely goes well.

8. Ultimatums.

Using ultimatums to get their way instead of compromising.

9. Refusal to ever apologize.

When they never apologize or takes responsibility for bad behavior

10. When you hope they’ll change.

If you notice anything and think “they will grow out of this” or “they will change when we settle down” or “I can change them” then you’re probably overlooking a big red flag.

11. Meanness toward service workers.

Being mean to a waiter in a restaurant is a definite red flag. Pay attention to how they treat people they don’t have to treat kindly.

12. Meanness toward the elderly.

Being rude to older people, especially their parents.

13. Attention whores.

Constant need of attention. If it’s the dominant person then it can easily turn abusive. If it’s the non dominant person, then it can turn psycho obsessive.

14. Obsessive texting.

Constant text messages asking where you are and who you’re with.. even though they said they “trust” you..

15. Self-pity.

When someone constantly feels sorry for themselves. That gets old very fast…

16. Possessiveness.

Showing possessiveness in the early stages of the relationship. It’s only going to get worse, and you don’t want to get into a relationship in which you’ll require being caged…

17. Shit-talking.

Speaking ill of people. If she talks unkindly of her friends, she probably does the same about you.

Not fun.

18. Few or no friends.

Look at their social network. If their only actual friends are their parents, they might be incredibly codependent or push people away. If their only friends are 23 stray cats they feed, they might have some other issues.

19. Girls with more male than female friends.

If she has a shit ton of guy friends and like 2 female friends, back away not today disco lady.

20. No long-term past relationships.

lots of short term relationships

21. They’re always “right.”

If they ‘always have to be right’ – ditch them. They’ll never let you be a positive part of their world because they’re too busy proving you’re wrong.

22. They don’t like “drama.”

When a girl says “I don’t get along well with other girls because I don’t like drama.”


23. Narcissists

I previously dated a total narcissist. Very hard work, and very damaging to my self esteem. Examples of red flags related to that situation:
• a need for vengeance. Any wrong against him had to be avenged; minor or major. This also applied to me.
• do not ever contradict or correct him. He was so talented at flawed logic that he would twist my words or the situation to him being right.
• expected constant validation and congratulations for doing anything. You put the dishes away you champ. You finally got a job? They’re lucky to have you there. You got a good mark at uni? Of course you did, you’re the smartest one there.
• very conscious of hurt. Any minor or major transgression against him HAD to be malicious and would be treated as such – regardless of any legitimate defence or explanation. Then comes the revenge.
• constant manipulation of people in his life. Mostly friends or me. Even after we broke up, he constantly tried to manipulate me to get back together with him.
• terrible at maintaining inter-personal relationships. Everyone eventually wasn’t good enough or wronged him in some way. He was also practically incapable of empathy.
• very, very image conscious. I gained some weight and was instructed to lose it and then look even better than before. I couldn’t look less than my best if we were going somewhere. He also spent hours primping and preening and would often tell me how good looking he was.
• Basically, don’t date someone so nasty and wrapped up in themselves. He was so charming when he wanted to be and was really funny and out of this world intelligent. Seems like a bit of a waste, I can’t see anyone sticking by him because he’s just so toxic.

24. There’s no attraction beyond the physical.

If you’re looking to go into a long-term relationship, consider this.

If you could take away all physical pleasures (sex, making out, etc), would you still want to be around that person? If not, break it off.

25. Girls who ride horses.

If a girl rides horses, ditch. Horse people are crazy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lorenzo Jensen III

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