Looks up their ex on Facebook
I’m pretty sure at least every dude has attempted to suck their own dick once.
Pee in the shower. Helicopter dick. Both at the same time.
Having a wee in the sink.
Have conversations with themselves while driving
Look at people in other cars in traffic and wonder if they find you attractive.
Take a quick look at the shit on the toilet paper before dropping it into the toilet.
Sniff their finger after scratching their balls/nether regions.
Haha, intensely smelling an article of clothing which belongs to someone else. Especially someone you like.. And, or smelling your clothes intensely after hanging out with them. I’m guilty on this one.
Wonder how they look naked.
When a friend or family member tells you they’re pregnant you automatically picture them having sex with their SO.
Think about all the different ways they could die, then wonder how/who would miss them.
I have a suspicion that a lot of people regret having children but if you admitted it, people would think you’re a horrible person.
I actually have no idea if others do this but I hope I’m not alone….
Everytime a nearby group of people start laughing or smiling I assume they’re laughing at me for some reason. Even though i can’t possibly imagine what they might be laughing about I just feel like it’s at me.
This only really applies to guys, but when I am walking somewhere and happen to be following the same path as a woman in front of me, I worry that she thinks I’m following her and that I’m some sort of rapist or murderer. I tend to fall back, or sometimes bite the bullet and walk past.
I gotta go with looking at dongs at the gym. There is extensive wiener peeking going on, but nobody ever says anything. I believe one day, man will become comfortable enough with his masculinity to say the words “Nice wienie bro” and not be embarrassed.
Go through their friends’ shit when they’re not around
Hug my pillow like it’s a person
Every man has put their penis between their legs to make a vagina.