1. When almost all of your Facebook photos look like escort ads.
“When almost all of your Facebook photos look like escort ads.”
2. Fighting in Chuck E Cheese.
“Fist fight in Chuck E Cheese.”
3. Fighting in Walmart.
“Fighting in the middle of Walmart.”
4. Tampon fights.
“Tampon fights between girls.”
“Walking around shamelessly covered in hickeys. I mean one hickey is off-putting to me but accidents happen. If you’ve got a bunch of them, you wanted the attention.”
6. Lots of ranch dressing.
“I have always believed that there is a direct correlation that indicates the more ranch you put on your food the lower your credit score.”
7. A lot of junk in your front yard that obviously doesn’t belong there.
“A lot of junk in their front yard that obviously doesn’t belong there, like old furniture, dogs without leashes (especially if they like to bark and chase people.) An overall feeling they could keep things clean if they put in ten minutes of effort a day.”
8. Free soda scams at McDonald’s.
“Going through the McDonald’s drive thru to get a free cup of water, dumping it out and coming inside to get free pop.”
9. A decal on your vehicle with Calvin pissing on something.
“A decal on your vehicle with Calvin pissing on something.”
10. Pit ball on a chain collar outside in a cage.
“Owning a pit bull dog that is not fixed, cropped ears, and weight trained, on a chain collar. Bonus trash points if you keep it in a cage outside.”
11. Giving your one-year-old a baby bottle filled with Coke.
“Giving your one-year-old a bottle of Coke. Like an actual baby bottle filled with Coke.”
12. Tramp stamp.
“A tribal tramp stamp.”
13. Boob tat.
“Tattoo on the boob.”
14. ICP tat.
“Insane Clown Posse tattoo.”
15. Face tat.
“Face tattoos. They’re like instant warnings that this is a person I do not want to interact with.”
16. Rebel flag tat…with skulls.
“Confederate flag tattoos. Bonus points for skulls.”
17. Sexually explicit bumper sticker.
“I was going in to work one day and I saw a woman driving a pickup truck. I knew the woman, so I was trying to get a little closer so I could wave or something at a stoplight. She had a bumper sticker on the back window: IF YOU’RE GONNA RIDE MY ASS, the least you could do is pull my hair!”
18. Fighting over everything.
“People who immediately try to fight when you show them a better way of doing something or whenever they feel inferior in any way. No Jason, I don’t want to fight about it. I’m just showing you how to avoid killing someone with that 5 ton machine, but never mind.”
19. Screaming at your kids at the store.
“Scream-cursing at your plethora of kids in a grocery store.”
20. Ass hanging out of pants that are too short.
“Ass hanging out of pants that are too short. It’s never classy.”
21. Eating nine cans of ravioli in one night.
“Eating nine cans of ravioli in one night. No one wants to admit they ate 9 cans. I did. I’m ashamed of myself.”