43 Married People Confess Why They Stopped Having Sex With Their Spouse

25. Infertility killed my sex drive.

“Infertility killed my sex drive. Trying to have a baby is fun at first, but then every month that it fails it becomes more and more stressful and like a chore tbh. Then it worked! Then I had a miscarriage and my sex drive somehow dropped even more. We still have sex 2-3 days a month near ovulation time. But now the fertility drugs make my ovaries swell? And sex is painful, but we want a family. Good news is I tried a new fertility drug this month and I wanted sex. Turns out a side effect is increased sex drive.”


26. I got tired of swallowing his cum and taking it up the ass.

“He’s only interested in oral or anal these days & to put it as bluntly as possible: I got tired of swallowing his cum and taking it up the ass. We have two great kids and work together as a team in every respect, but he’s pretty much made it clear that he isn’t interested in normal intercourse. At all.

The thing is—I’d happily give an occasional blowjob. I just don’t think it’s fair to have to give him one on demand as often as he likes with no satisfaction in return. When it got to the point where I started looking forward to anal sex because at least then I’d get off, too, I knew it was time to just hang it up. (Plus, he had this habit of making anal sex last for an absurd length of time, and it starts NOT feeling good after a couple of hours—yes, hours—of having your butt penetrated.)

He got pretty upset about it at first, but he refuses to go to any kind of counseling about it. So after many, many arguments I finally just cut him off cold turkey. He did make a few attempts at regular sex, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it, and he could barely maintain any kind of erection. Plus he had this idea that one time trying weakly to have regular sex earned him a couple of weeks of twice-daily blowjobs and anytime anal, and that just didn’t fly. I get that he was making an attempt, but the point isn’t to be willing to do something you hate just because the other person wants it (as much as I hated the frequency/duration/unfairness of everything else we did, I never hated doing those things). The point is to please them by wanting to do it. And he simply isn’t capable of wanting that one thing so I can’t bring myself to do the rest of it.

The sad thing is, I’m sitting here typing this and feeling guilty that I haven’t gotten him off in a really, really long time and considering giving him a few weeks of what he wants just so I can feel like a good person again.”



More From Thought Catalog